This letter was originally called Dear Cock- which sort of evolved out of a twitter discussion. But to be honest I felt uncomfortable with that as I didn’t like using such a term as my title as it smacked of being gratuitous for the sake of it, and I ended up feeling quite embarrassed about it (I get easily carried away)- so sorry about that and sorry if I offended anyone. Plus also people might have read the letter under false pretences. After all it wasn’t an ode to the Penis (and yes I might have written an ode to my breasts , but I think I probably draw the line at writing to a Dear Part of Somebody else’s anatomy. Or maybe not as I did rant about Vulva’s in general.) Argh this letter writing lark is a minefield I tell ya!
Anyhow I have left the letter how I originally wrote it below as I feel better now I have prefaced it with this letter as a warning before you carry on!
Lots of Love
Ok this letter is an immediate follow on to the musings in Dear Vulva and not a love letter about “how much I love cock”, because seriously I’m not the type of girl to do that publicly, *prude face* and a girl has to draw the line somewhere
but I suppose as body parts go it’s alright and passes the time.
It also isn’t a letter to some of the males in my life,
apart from *you*- if you are reading who turned out to be men who’s behaviour deemed them worthy of such an insult if you were inclined to use such words.
Nor is it a letter to Cameron, Gove, Lansley or Osbourne (but I am working on one for them don’t you worry!)
and nope it also isn’t a letter to a male chicken.
No this letter is to Cock wondering why you are a much less offensive term than Cunt. I call someone a cock- and I am probably meaning they are a bit of an idiot, a fool, bloody annoying but probably ultimately forgiveable.
I call someone a Cunt (which I virtually never ever do) and I mean they are the lowest of low, the evilest of evil, the scum of the earth.
Hmmm. I ponder further- are there any terms for the male genitals as offensive as the females?
Dickhead versus Twat. Twat wins
Purple Headed Yoghurt Squirter versus Hairy Axe Wound- then Hairy Axe Wound wins (ok ok so I have never actually heard anyone use either of these as insults but as sexual body part names go they are top of my bizarre list :))
I think I am getting fed up of the gendered insult terms and that basically the female terms are always so much more offensive than the men’s, unless of course you add in the element of homophobia- cocksucker being more offensive than plain cock for example which may be more offensive than calling someone a pussy?
It’s just starting to make me cross, and I don’t buy the bullshit about reclaiming the words to make them less offensive, because only a minority of people ever try the reclaiming crap- the majority will still find the words offensive and therefore even attempting such is utterly pointless.
Personally as really cross insults or swearing goes, I prefer the gender free “Arsehole”, or just a really venomous ”fuck off” or “fuck you” (which when you ponder further about it- fucking them is the very last thing you want to be doing so as insults go is it not a pretty stupid one?)
In fact why are so many of the much more offensive insults and swearwords related to sex, sexuality or sexual parts? When let’s face it we are all here because of sex
unless you were an IVF baby, and the majority of people in the world are going to be shagging at various points in their lives, so why all this sex and gender shaming crap?
In maybe I need to develop a lexicon of politically correct insults and swearwords, in fact Dear Cock, I think I shall wander off and do that instead of blathering at you any further.
Have a nice day.
Lots of Love and Kisses