Dear Marching Boots

Dear Marching Boots,

I am polishing you off. My wonderful dad got me into protesting from a young age (see photo below of me on the Miner’s strikes in the 1980′s. My claim to fame is mini me met Arthur Scargill!)

A few months before he died, I was telling my dad about the Dorries amendment and he went mad- I was so surprised- I never had him down for a pro-choice activist but he got him and all his pensioner friends writing letters to their MP’s. It was brilliant and inspiring. He told me “LadyCurd, a woman’s right to choose is something I will always put my marching boots on for.”

And so for my dad, for my rights and my girls, and for women, I am getting on my marching boots:

Step one- the wake up call- a letter to UK abortion rights.

Second step- Joined Abortion Rights- The National Pro-Choice Campaign.

Step Three- Signed this petition to get rid of the second doctors signature.

Step Four- wrote this and supported organising a counter demo celebrating 44years of access to safe legal abortion in my home town.

Step Five- Attended counter demo with Omble which was sucessful. “Honk if you support a woman’s right to choose” got lots of honks and lots of cheers. My marching boots of choice were a very fetching pair of black and white wellies as it had been raining that morning.  Of course it didn’t rain all demo and I looked a twit in my wellies in the centre of town holding my #umbrellaforchoice (an umbrella with lots of prochoice slogans pinned to it).

Step Six- Wrote this to women (&Partner’s) who regret their abortion and this to my political baby

Am going to add to this letter as I march my other steps although for various reasons not all will appear here as in some cases I might need to be an “abortion rights ninja” *cryptic face*

Lots of Marching Stamping Angry Love

LadyTheseBootsWereMadeForMarchingCurd

Dear Feminism2

Dear Feminism2,

Well Dear Feminism1 caused an unexpected bit of controversy.  (See here for info).  I don’t want to hash it up with the people involved  again as well all agreed to draw a line under it and move on, but what was interesting was my thought processes following the exchange so I thought it would be worthwhile to ponder them further with you.

So I previously identified there were two main reasons I previously didn’t really identify as a feminist:

a) a hatred of labelling my identity in any way shape or form.

b) I recognise that feminism is an incredibly diverse creature and there isn’t really an “official party line” other than the quest  for equality, however there are certain stances of some feminists that I don’t agree with and by not agreeing 100% with certain aspects of the movement it creates worry about aligning myself with the movement when I wasn’t always going to be singing from the same hymm sheet on certain issues.  For someone who already has identity issues- aligning self with a movement that itself has identity issues is a quite a tricky thing! NARGH!

In my case it genuinely wasn’t a tactic to not appear as a threat to men as @GlossWitch suggested some women might do.  Those that know me in RL probably know me as a bit of an “alpha femaley” type- seriously whether I label myself as a feminist or not is probably the least of some poor bloke’s worries.

But if I am 100% honest there is a third reason I didn’t previously want to be identified as a feminist, and it was because I probably didn’t want to be lumped in with the stereotype of one of *those* feminists. To be quite honest I’m a bit scared to admit this (thanks to previous reactions and it is effectively admitting I AM A VERY SHALLOW PERSON AND I WANT EVERYONE TO LIKE ME!) so please before you recoil in horror and start attacking me again please let me explain this further and where my thought process is now.

By *those* feminists, I guess I meant the awful stereotype of the really angry “man hating” ones (I KNOW THIS IS A STEREOTYPE), who prefer to shout down opposition rather than reason with it.  Unfortunately I have encountered a few who conform to this stereotype. Sadly the few hostile tweets I got after that didn’t help me with rejection of this stereotype, until  I chatted to a passionate feminist @StewieGriffinsMom (who had seen the exchange) who kindly took the time to explain that often she was sensitive to things that mocked feminism (which admittedly my original post did slightly by making fun of feminist stereotypes that I already adhere too- and for that I am sorry to have caused offence- in my head I was making fun of myself not feminism really),  because she often got the “ANGRY MANHATING FEMINIST STEREOTYPE” thrown back in her face, and therefore she could be quite defensive about feminism and didn’t like it being attacked. This I completely understand, and then hostile reactions to my letter makes sense (ie. the reaction is actually more understandable but hostility unkind but the unfortunate side effect is that it reinforces a particular stereotype) and although the hostility to my orginal letter was unpleasant, I now recognise where it comes from and ultimately we were able to discuss things a bit more rationally which was very helpful to my own progression in my feministy thinking.

This got me thinking- this defensiveness and hostility to perceived criticism of the movement can then become  a viscous circle because if all these passionate women are having to spend so much of their energy on defending their positions, this manages to perpetuate the very stereotype we should all be trying to reject. If there was less anger, defensiveness and hostility within the feminist movement then maybe more people like me would be happier about embracing their feminist identities? Or equally  I need to get over myself and my over thinking identity issues but I recognise that this does stem out of a passion and desire for change and without a fire in your belly, sometimes change just won’t happen, I mean bloody hell the suffragettes went to incredible awesome amazing lengths to secure rights we now take for granted. So I’m not sure what could be done for the best other than to point out working with people is often more effective than working against people, but then maybe I am speaking from a cocoon of privilege and actually personally  I really  need to be getting more angry.  I need to ponder this further I think.

On reflection, & being very honest, when I encountered the hostility from the self identified feminists, my very first thought was ” ARGH! I don’t want to be one then!”, the way they interacted with me made me feel belittled and stupid about something I had previously been excited to realise and admit to myself.  I felt I clearly didn’t “know”enough about the cause to join the club properly! This is simply ridiculous- I absolutely don’t need a doctorate in gender studies to call myself a feminist, all I bloody need is my passion for equality and my desire to want to fight for things like abortion rights, and gender equality and bugger me some of this shit is my sodding dayjob- I am probably more “qualified” than many to call myself a feminist (if you needed a “feminist qualification” which obviously you don’t!).  I really appreciate the time taken by other out and proud feminists to discuss some of these issues with me and ultimately help me not scuttle straight back into the closet where it felt safe!

So yes some further ponderances about you which have really got me thinking.

I like thinking, it makes a nice change from shitty nappies and tantrumming toddlers.

Lots of learning love

LadyStillCallingMyselfAFeministAlbeitFlawedCurd

P.S I would welcome comments on this letter but please can we keep it civil, just because I am a total wimp and otherwise will probably cry.

Dear Feminism1

Dear Feminism1,

I have a confession to make. Until very recently (like yesterday!) I would not necessarily have called myself a feminist. I once got particularly riled by a tweeter who claimed that women who didn’t consider themselves to be feminists weren’t real women. I mean seriously WTF! Surely that kind of attitude is anti-feminism?

I have always been very very pro-equality but any activism was often more to do with human rights more generally than women’s rights specifically (although I suppose at high school leading the campaign to get girls to be allowed to wear trousers as part of their school uniform (which shockingly ultimately failed!- this was early nineties) means that women’s rights have also always been important to me).

But I have always always had issues with calling myself a feminist. I think this stems from two things:

a) I really really hate labels and then the stereotypes that come with them. I hate trying to define myself and add labels to myself. I hate being referred to as a wife and mother, I hate being referred to as white, middle class, straight, female, atheist, as to be honest I am probably none of those things, not really, well I mean I am in some ways but I’m also not defined by them, I don’t see them as neat binary boxes to for people to slot into but spectrums for people to align themselves against if they choose. & the same with feminism- I am neither in the feminist box or the non-feminist box- I just probably align myself more to the feminist end of the spectrum based on my personal beliefs and attitudes.

b) I do have issues with some feminists and some feminist issues and how they are tackled and dealt with. I hate the transphobia of some prominent feminists- it disgusts me. In my eyes if you are a woman- you are a woman- regardless of what genitals you were born with. I also have issues with the porn debate and how that is handled (see here for an excellent debate between Sarah Ditum and Gail Dines), and I have issues with so much of the feminist in-fighting- “you can’t be a feminist if you X, Y, or Z” To me that is bullshit. If you want to call yourself a feminist you are one.

So yes I am pretty angsty about calling myself a feminist (oh my- does female angst preclude me from joining the club? ), but yesterday in this letter I found myself calling myself “A feminist of sorts“. For the first time ever!

Yikes I think I just came out of the closet as a feminist. I mean I suppose letters like this, this , this, this, this and this means you already knew right? And I suppose the fact I virtually never wear make-up, diet, shave my legs or armpits, wear high heels or a bra at the moment thanks to breastfeeding, and the fact that when I married LordCurd my dad didn’t give me away or make a speech although marriage is a patriachal institution- oops, and I and my best woman made speeches, and the fact I am a Ms. and the fact that LordCurd and I are equal partners in the home well if I am totally honest he does way more than his fair share, then these are all kinda “feministy” things to do right? *Tongue firmly in my naughty “stereotyping” cheek*

So um yeah- I just came out of the feminist closet, and I am writing to you to sort out my membership. I want a badge please, and a bookmark, oooh and one of those feminist pens and jute bags please. Oh and do you do those feminist branded post-its too?

I attach my cheque and await to hear from you once my membership application has been processed.

Many Thanks for fighting for female equality

LadyI’mAFeministAndProudCurd

P.S This letter apparently offended some feminists and for that I am genuinely sorry. I never want to deliberately offend or upset people as that just isn’t my style at all. Happy to discuss further as you will see I already have in comments, but I’m a human with feelings- I get upset at unnecessary hostility. Thanks x

Dear Gendered Insults2 (A Guest Post)

Dear Reader,

Firstly please see here for an explanation into why the title of this post has nowchanged.

@ProfTentacles was so inspired by Dear Cock  he felt need to write his own letter, & far far superior it is to mine – I think sequels often are although we probably ultimately disagree on the ending

Anyhow here is Dear Cock2 (A Guest Post)

Yours sincerely

LadyCurd

Dear Cock,

You’re a great word. You can be personal: “You’re a cock.” You can be situational: “This is a bit of a cock-up, really.” You can be a positive, life affirming thing: “I’m just cocking about on the internet.” You’re a sturdy, reliable word. You’ve always been there when I’ve needed you, like the mate that picks you up where your car’s broken down or internet porn.

You’re the big man on the block: more popular that dick, classier than knob and funnier than dong. You have a forceful, plosive sound. You are, in every way, the cock of the walk.

But that leaves the poor ladies in the shade.  How is it fair that cock has become so acceptable that the chaps on Top Gear can award each other a Golden Cock for being stupid, whilst the feminine equivalents have a somewhat… different feel.

We’re a funny species: so obsessed with the mechanics of sex, surrounding it with rites and processes to the point where the phrase ‘couldn’t organise an orgy in a brothel’ is not only coined but becomes a good description  of our procreative capacity. But for all our fascination, as society has evolved, we’ve become more coy and embarrassed; and nowhere is this more obvious than in our relationship with words for the female genital area.

Let’s be honest here: ‘cock’ has a rugged, rough and tumble feel. It’s all good fun. So does dick, knob, dong, schlong… but your female cousins seem to carry along with them a taint. They are somewhat unclean, aren’t they? Clunge, flange, vag, gash… they’re not nice. Because, me old cock, they’re not there to glamourise, are they? Cock is a glamorous word: strong, noble. “Don’t be such a cock,” often carries an air of grudging admiration. “That’s gash,” on the other hand – nothing to admire there. Pussy is weak, feeble: to be ‘pussy-whipped’ is the very antithesis of the butch go-getting of ‘cocksure’, isn’t it?

But.

But there is one, isn’t there, one word that has the power and stature you enjoy? But it’s a word that’s shrouded in horror and despair. Even I, who has spent the last half-hour frankly enjoying writing the word ‘cock’ as often as possible and has been known to send emails to Senior Managers at my place of work that consist only of the word COCK is 50pt red Times New Roman, even I hesitate to say it.

But we must. We must level the playing field. We must make the female equal to the male; we must normalise the words. More than that: cock is not usually denigratory. It’s not used to put people down. Cunt is. To call someone a cunt carries with it undertones of inferiority, unworthiness and dirt: and that is the underlying sexism that must change. After all, asJames McDonald suggests in the The Wordsworth Dictionary of Obscenity and Taboo, cunt might come from an old English word,cynd, meaning“origin, generation, birth, kind, offspring”: and that’s frankly marvellous. That’s superior, worthy and – let’s not beat around the bush – awesome.

So, dear cock, I have to tell you that you’ll be going into semi-retirement. I’m going to do my bit for equality. And so should you: the next time you want to call someone a cock, call ‘em a cunt instead.

Yours

A Cock Cunt

Dear Gendered Insults

Dear Reader,

This letter was originally called Dear Cock- which sort of evolved out of a twitter discussion. But to be honest I felt uncomfortable with that as I  didn’t like using such a term as my title as it smacked of being gratuitous for the sake of it, and I ended up feeling quite embarrassed about it (I get easily carried away)- so sorry about that and sorry if I offended anyone.  Plus also people might have read the letter under false pretences.  After all it wasn’t an ode to the Penis (and yes I might have written an ode to my breasts , but I think I probably draw the line at writing to a Dear Part of Somebody else’s anatomy. Or maybe not as I did rant about Vulva’s in general.) Argh this letter writing lark is a minefield I tell ya!

Anyhow I have left the letter how I originally wrote it below as I feel better now I have prefaced it with this letter as a warning before you carry on!

Lots of Love

LadyCurd

_____________________________________

Dear Cock

Ok this letter is an immediate follow on to the musings in Dear Vulva and not a love letter about “how much I love cock”, because seriously I’m not the type of girl to do that publicly, *prude face* and a girl has to draw the line somewhere but I suppose as body parts go it’s alright and passes the time.

It also isn’t a letter to some of the males in my life, apart from *you*- if you are reading who turned out to be men who’s behaviour deemed them worthy of such an insult if you were inclined to use such words. 

Nor is it a letter to Cameron, Gove, Lansley or Osbourne (but I am working on one for them don’t you worry!)

and nope it also isn’t a letter to a male chicken.

No this letter is to Cock wondering why you are a much less offensive term than Cunt.  I call someone a cock- and I am probably meaning they are a bit of an idiot, a fool, bloody annoying but probably ultimately forgiveable.

I call someone a Cunt (which I virtually never ever do) and I mean they are the lowest of low, the evilest of evil, the scum of the earth.

Hmmm. I ponder further- are there any terms for the male genitals as offensive as the females?

Dickhead versus Twat. Twat wins

Purple Headed Yoghurt Squirter versus Hairy Axe Wound- then Hairy Axe Wound wins (ok ok so I have never actually heard anyone use either of these as insults but as sexual body part names go they are top of my bizarre list )

I think I am getting fed up of the gendered insult terms and that basically the female terms are always so much more offensive than the men’s, unless of course you add in the element of homophobia- cocksucker being more offensive than plain cock for example which may be more offensive than calling someone a pussy?

It’s just starting to make me cross, and I don’t buy the bullshit about reclaiming the words to make them less offensive, because only a minority of people ever try the reclaiming crap- the majority will still find the words offensive and therefore even attempting such is utterly pointless.

Personally as really cross insults or swearing goes, I prefer the gender free “Arsehole”, or just a really venomous ”fuck off” or “fuck you” (which when you ponder further about it- fucking them is the very last thing you want to be doing so as insults go is it not a pretty stupid one?)

In fact why are so many of the much more offensive insults and swearwords related to sex, sexuality or sexual parts? When let’s face it we are all here because of sex unless you were an IVF baby,  and the majority of people in the world are going to be shagging at various points in their lives, so why all this sex and gender shaming crap?

In maybe I need to develop a lexicon of politically correct insults and swearwords, in fact Dear Cock, I think I shall wander off and do that instead of blathering at you any further.

Have a nice day.

Lots of Love and Kisses

LadyGettingHerKnickersInATwistCurd

Dear Vulva

Dear Vulva,

A little story for you- My mum and 4 or 5 year old me, sat in the doctors waiting room-

- Me (Precocious reader)- “Mummy- What’s a Virginia” (How I had pronounced it not how it was spelt- Vagina)

- My Mother (a keen gardner): “Oh um its a type of plant”

- Me (Reading a Canestan leaflet): No mummy it says you need to rub cream in twice a day to solve Virginal Itching. (pronunciation was never my strong point)

- My flustered and embarrassed mother hissing: It’s a woman’s willy!

Now possibly I think my dear old mum should have thought more about the naming of the lady parts before being completely humiliated in the waiting room like that (and as you can see LadyCurd started to feature in my life from a young age ) and erm seriously A WOMAN’S WILLY!? Erm No just NO!

The lovely ScribblesFromTheMiddle  is going through this dilemma at the moment with her boys and this led to a discussion on twitter.  Some advocating girls bits, or vagina, or Gina (pronounced as in China not as in Ford ) or Yoni (Sanskrit for Vagina), and then there are a whole host of other cutesy euphemistic names (but seriously anyone who calls it “twinkle” automatically makes me think “Twinkle in your Father’s Eye- and then I want to vomit). Personally I love Fanjo but I think that’s an an adult term really (and don’t get me started on the offensive terms for female genitals that somehow carry more venom and offense than the male equivalence- in fact there is another letter in that somewhere- Dear Cock).

Now I have two girls and I am a feminist of sorts and a scientist.  It annoys me how many women are confused by their own body parts and unable to name them properly (not helped by only generally learning the internal not the external female genitals at school etc.)  Now I am not expecting my 2 year old to start realing off Labia Majora, Labia Minora etc but technically when I am talking about “Girls bits” I am talking about Vulvas and not Vaginas  as such, But I am pondering how brave I will be when it comes to naming the parts for my girls. Do I really want them to be the only girls in the playground using the anatomically correct term?  Thinking back to my playground experience- everyone at my school called it a “split” – yuk! I really don’t want my girls to be using offensive names for a part of the body I hope they will learn to love and not be embarrassed or ashamed by.

It annoys me that there is inherent sexism in that little boys can be quite happily taught “penis” as the correct word, and no-one raises an eyebrow, yet naming girls parts causes sniggering and embarrassment. Why? Why are we ashamed of our vulvas and our vaginas? Why can’t we can’t we comfortably say to our little girls in the bath or on the loo- now wash/wipe your vulva? Argh and I was ever so slightly embarrassed even just to type that! How very annoying!

I think I am coming to the conclusion that I am more comfortable with the word Vagina when even though strictly it is anatomically incorrect, it is something I can probably live with. But nargh it will rankle with me AS ITS INCORRECT- I AM TALKING ABOUT A VULVA NOT A VAGINA. Hmmmm.

So anyhow dear Vulva- I am sorry we all seem so utterly embarrassed by your existence we can’t even call you by your proper name.  It is something I am working on addressing and I definitely will be clarifying with my girls once they are old enough to understand and not completely humiliate me in a doctors waiting room or playground.

Lots of love

LadyCurd the euphemistic name for vaginal discharge in cases of thrush

P.S Best Joke Ever:

Have you got a Vulva?

No I drive a Vauxhall.

Dear Ginger Baby

Dear Ginger Baby,

I always wanted a Ginger baby, being married to a beautiful Ginger man, I felt it was my duty to continue the Ginger legacy, especially when we thought Gingers were dying out (even if it turned out to be a hoax). I have always known I was a Ginger gene carrier- all my mum can remember about her grandma was her fiery red hair and her disgusting yellow toenails- Boak. and in some lights my brunette hair will take on a reddish tinge confirming the latent presence of the gene. However apparently ginger hair often skips a generation so being married to one so Ginger as LordCurd was no guarantee in producing a suitably ginger offspring.

But I had high hopes for my abilities to produce ginger babies. Sadly my first daughter Oddler is a blonde, possibly strawberry blonde but blonde nonetheless. She was born with lots of jet black hair which she then lost to be completely bald for months so we were optimistic, until it grew back blonde. Have to admit being a smidge disappointed she turned out not to be a Ginger, (although obviously she is absolutely gorgeous in her own right and I have hopes her hair will turn more “strawberry” as she gets older). I think the rest of the family were disappointed too. In our family the first question isn’t “what weight” or “how was the birth” but “is she Ginger?”

Thankfully second time around before I was disowned for not producing a Ginger heir my little Omble is as Ginger as her daddy. She’s pretty bald at the minute so it’s just a fine dusting of fine silky Ginger fluff atop her head, but it’s beautiful and I am so proud of it. She also has a Ginger monobrow thing going on which is a little bizarre but very cute.

There have been ponderances that my being able to produce a Ginger Baby was in actual fact nothing to do with genetics and rather more to do with my total addiction to Jamaican Ginger Cake and gingerbiscuits and all things ginger. After all I did eat rather a lot when pregnant and the more cake I eat as breastfeeding, the “gingeryer” she seems to get. Aftert all if eating too many carrots can turn your skin orange then why shouldn’t eating too much ginger stuff turn your kid’s hair Ginger, as she recieves all the gingery compounds via the placenta and then breastmilk?

The benefits to having a ginger baby are numerous- firstly people know not to buy you pink, which is a colour I hate but all little girls seem to get given masses of it. Secondly Gingers are incredibly easy to spot in a crowd- thus when I invariably lose her or LordCurd in a crowd- I will spot them again very quickly. Invaluable! Thirdly they are simply glorious and gorgeous and a wonder to behold.

However sadly there are downsides too- people can be unbelievable cruel and nasty about Gingers in a way that if they were about a skin colour they would be arrested. Gingerism has become the only acceptable form of racism. I know Lord Curd had to put up with a lot of stick growing up and I worry that my beautiful fiery red Omble will have to do the same. And seriously WHAT IS WITH THE OBSESSION WITH GINGER PUBES!?! I will spit motherfurious bullets at anyone who makes my amazing redhead feel bad for her beautiful hair or in fact anyone who makes my girls feel bad about their appearance or in fact anything.

So anyhow my awesome Ginger Baby- you are beautiful and rare and shall always be cherished and I will kick anyone who is mean to you.

Lots of Gingertastic Love

MummyRedheadGeneCarryingCurd

P.S Did you know that autocorrect automatically changes ginger to Ginger- thus further proving your exalted status.

Beautiful ginger scalp!

Dear UK Abortion Rights

Dear Abortion Rights,

Until about eighteen months ago I think I took you completely for granted. I thought you would be there if I ever needed you but hoped I wouldn’t find myself in the position to need you. Then I joined Twitter and my eyes were really opened to the precarious position our abortion rights are in. It started to scare me.

Then I had an unplanned pregnancy- at that time I was in the depths of PTSD and tokophobia from my first incredibly traumatic birth and felt completely and utterly terrified about continuing with that pregnancy. For the first time ever in my life I started consider my options about terminating the pregnancy, my head was spinning but I felt completely unable to go through the horrors I had experienced last time again. I only considered it for less than 24 hours as by then I had started to lose the pregnancy- it was ectopic. I have to be very honest here- I was relieved- the choice was taken out of my hands. I didn’t have to make that incredibly hard decision, but in that time my eyes were opened into what a difficult and traumatic decision it can be. (I subsequently sought help for my PTSD and went on to have my very much wanted and cherished Omble)

With the ectopic pregnancy I was rushed to hospital and my ruptured tube and the ?growing ?living embryo was removed. Obviously no embyo can survive that procedure but not having the operation would have resulted in my death, I was already bleeding internally by the time we sought treatment, who knows if the embryo was still alive by that point. Thankfully most anti-abortioners are “okay” with ectopic surgery as they see it that the removal of the tube is necessary to the survival of the mother and the embryo death is a by-product of that- ie. the embryo was not deliberately killed (but this gets into a confusing arena when methotrexate is used to treat the ectopic pregnancy and try and save the woman’s fallopian tube and thus preserving her fertility). I shouldn’t have been surprised or upset to discover there are some extreme anti-choice zealots who would prefer to see a woman and her unborn child die than save the life of the woman because in doing so causes the death of a precious embryo and it’s “gods will” afterall, an embryo that has zero hope of survival without its “host”.

From then on I started to realise there were a million different reasons why a woman might need to end a pregnancy (including these reasons which made me cry), and although sometimes I used to judge reasons as being “good or bad” reasons to have an abortion, I am now of the opinion that it is a decision that no woman enters into lightly and it is none of my business about her choice other than that I 100% support her right to choose. I cannot judge, for I am not her or going through her experience.

Since then I started to see more and more attacks on our abortion rights and I’m now getting really worried. There is so much chip chip chipping away that they will slowly but surely be eroded. Abortion has been legal since 1967 but that law really needs a massive overhaul but not in the way anti-choicers would want but in a way that gives women more autonomy over their bodies. Why should it need two doctors to sign off on the procedure anyway? surely once a woman has made her informed choice that is what she is doing the only consent signature that should matter is hers? Also the way the law currently stands and the recent negative media furore means that new doctors are now being deterred from becoming involved in abortion services. This really scares me- and is exactly what the anti-choicers want- reduced access to abortions meaning more women being denied their choice and forced into continuing with crisis pregnancies with no thought or care for the long term impact on such an unwanted child born into such circumstances.

The right wing media currently seize on any abortion story and whip people up into a frenzy about it without looking at the background to the issues and the underlying anti-choice motives behind such stories. For example:

• We have had the counselling amendment attempted to be made law (anti-choice tactic to disturb access to abortion- unbiased counselling is already available to women who want it),
• We have had the sex selection issue re. Doctors “breaking” the abortion law even though according to the letter of the law no doctor broke the law (link)
• Andrew Lansley recently ordered the care quality commission to carry out spotchecks that found that 1in 5 abortion clinics were breaking the law (re. two doctors signing the paperwork). This report was politically motivated and cost a huge amount of money- taking CQC away from their actual necessary work. This is subject of awesome analysis by my pal @sarahditum (link and link)

Seriously Britain wake up and smell the chipping away of your rights. The Anti-choice movement in states has parts of the US in a stranglehold where women in a very vulnerable position are being horrifically violated by a transvaginal ultrasound (a completely unnecessary medical test) before they can terminate the pregnancy, resulting in women being put in devastating situations like this. There are women being forced to carry dying babies because of laws preventing putting a humane end to the baby’s life and causing the mother untold mental anguish & toment (link). This is absolutely disgusting, and don’t be complacent and think it couldn’t happen here- the Anti-choicers are increasingly using US style tactics to try and erode the existing rights we do have.

I’m genuinely scared and angry about these constant attack on the abortion rights we do have. I may never need to utilise my abortion rights, but I am not naive- I’m pretty fertile (four pregnancies so far) and sexually active with potentially another 15 or so fertile years in me and no method of contraception is 100% effective (I will get sterilised once I am 100% sure my family is definitely complete but for now that is not an option). I am in a fortunate position that another unexpected pregnancy would not necessarily be the end of the world for me but it’s not just about my rights- face it 1 in 3 women will have had a termination before they are 45 and what about the abortion rights for my girls in the future? Like many mothers I hope they never face a crisis pregnancy where they need to consider their options, and need to make that incredibly difficult decision, but I’m really really worried about their future rights to access safe legal abortion. After all in countries where abortion is highly restricted there is barely any difference in abortion rate but a huge increase in unsafe abortion putting many women’s health and lives at serious risk (link).

So abortion rights- I am writing to tell you I am going to fight for you. Fight for me, fight for my girls, fight for my friends and for women I don’t know. I am scared to post this letter because it is a personal letter and I have seen some of the vile tactics used by the anti-choice movement to quell opposition but part of me standing up to fight involves me standing up and being counted.

And so I stand.

Forever fighting for you.

Yours LadyCurd.

Dear Pink

Dear Pink,
You are the colour of cooked ham and raw chicken,
Of sunsets and strawberry ice-cream,
Of expressed breast milk from a breast with a bleeding nipple crack.
Of flamingos, fromage frais, body parts and biscuit wafers.

You can even be the colour of a London pigeon:

But for pityinpinks sake you are not the only colour my little girls can or should wear, so be vanquished you girls clothes retailers with your rail upon rail of insipid pink frilliness.

Pale pink as a colour you scream at me – weak feeble bland mild boring generic and stereotypical, and my girls are none of those things, my girls are fearless adventurers, loud, excitable, fun and giggles- they need bright bold hardwearing colours of awesome to reflect that.

Not you.

You should be banned, or at the very least as rare as a pink pigeon of any gender.

From LadyThePinkistCurd

Dear Emo’s

Dear Emo’s,

I am devastated that in Iraq some of you are being persecuted for expressing yourself. Many of you have lost your lives in brutal stonings. This is utterly utterly horrific (link).

I was a gothic type from 11-19 and I appreciate I was incredibly lucky to only ever really experience verbal abuse for the way I looked (although many of my friends were often seriously beaten up).

I hate that society attacks people for being different and it’s something I fight against every day in the work that I do.

I promise to bring my girls up to be tolerant and respectful of all of life’s wonderful subcultures and I promise I will carry on fighting discrimination and bring them up to carry on the fight too.

I am so so very sorry  and I hope that one day we will see a future where people are free to be themselves, openly and honestly without fear of attack  or persecution.

Lots of Love

LadyEmoSolidarityCurd.

P.S I just rejoined Amnesty as realised my membership had lapsed. Perhaps those reading this might think about doing same.