Dear Cupid

Dear Cupid,

As you know it’s our 4 year wedding anniversary today. We have been together 7.5years and I can honestly say I didn’t think it was possible to love him any more than I did four years ago today, but in the last few years since we got married, had two babies one with early health worries, lost two babies and a fallopian tube mine not his obviously , temporarily misplaced my mind with PTSD etc, found it again, lost my darling dad, I realise how utterly wonderful incredible awesome and amazing my fantastic husband is.   I know I’m gushy and being soppy and annoying but it is true.

I love LordCurd with all my heart (apart from the bits also reserved for our gorgeous daughters obviously), our wedding day was the best day of my life and I hope we have so many more wedding anniversaries to look forward too together.

Anyhow, gushing aside dear Cupid- I have been scanning in old photos in a big clearout and I was looking through childhood photos of me and LordCurd.

I have a funny feeling you had us in mind for each other from the very start.

So thanks for that Cupid. I owe you one.

Cheers

LadyCurd

P.S LadyCurd on Left, LordCurd on right.

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Same love of beige suits.

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Same Brown beanbag next to a radiator

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Same taste in yellow hats

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Same penchant for disguise and detectives

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Same standing at top of steps one looking like needs a wee the other looking like it’s too late.

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Same ability to look odd in a pushchair

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Same ability to wear dad out

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Similar hand to mouth obsession with mum

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Same penchant for dressing up although these days less gender stereotyped.

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 So that was Lord and LadyCurd  and their little years- here’s hoping for many more big years ahead of us, til they grow old and grey…..

….and live and die happily ever after.

Dear “I’m not 12 soundtrack”

Dear “I’m not 12 soundtrack”,

Last night while snuggled up with LordCurd in the spare room single bed* listening to music on shuffle, waiting for Omble to wake up for her next feed, Elliot Smith- the Biggest Lie came on.

Being squidged up in a single bed listening to that song, it took me back to a time seven years ago, having just started dating LordCurd, hanging out in his attic bedroom in Cambridge, hot summer afternoons, a blow up double bed with a lime green sheet (because his single bed sagged and creaked ). Walls full of revision post it notes stuck on them, rippling in the breeze. Sitting with him in my hot stuffy tiny Renault 5, drinking cups of tea on single yellows in the hot afternoons on my way back from work just because we wanted to see each other but the parking restrictions didn’t lift for another three hours and there was no-where to park.  The traffic warden smiling and saying “not you again” whenever she saw us, and I had to move on. The punting in the Cam, the giggling piggy back rides on Parker’s piece, the lying at night under a tree adorned twinkling white fairy lights at my May ball. Heck we actually were love’s young dream.

I was reminiscing all this with LordCurd, “Did you think back then, we’d ever end up here with two kids?”, “No”.  The music changed- it was jarring – the memories were fading and reality was coming back, I asked LordCurd to play some other songs from that time, did he not have a playlist!?  “No- I’m not twelve”.

Well sod it. I AM twelve, and here for your delight is my “I fell properly deeply irrevocably in love for the first time ever playlist” also known as the “I’m not twelve and I married a grumpy bugger soundtrack”

This soundtrack is making me smile and remember those magical times.

Seven year itch. What itch?

*Scratches*

Loads of soppy slushy making the kids cringe love

LadyToHerLordCurdbut like totally not in a subordinate way- equal partnership and all that, I’m a feminist and whatnot

*P.S. LordCurd is in said single bed in spare room until Omble stops co-sleeping- read these letters and don’t hold your breath. Missing him.

Paris 2006   Tiny Pic as too cheesy to be any bigger.

Dear Amazing Mummy

Dear Amazing Mummy,

Have another sticker.

Love LordCurd (“GuestPost”*)

P.S From LadyCurd- originally this letter didn’t take the sticker chart quite in the spirit which it was intended. I added a P.S to the original but I decided in the end to rewrite it how I should have taken it, coz it’s my blog and I can rewrite history like that if I want too. Also since I earned another sticker I can now continue gathering evidence of being an amazing mummy if social services ever pop by. *preens*

*P.P.S This is a lie, LadyCurd wrote it.

Dear Equal Marriage

Dear Equal Marriage,

I want you to know that you in no way threaten my marriage or family life (what an utterly ridiculous notion!), and all those fools who think otherwise are the sorts of idiots who shouldn’t be allowed to get married or procreate and then we might end up with a world full of tolerant and respectful people who know that marriage should be between two people who love each other regardless of gender.

In fact Chief Justice Margaret Goodridge summarised it much better than me

From “Goodridge Vs. Department of Health” by Massachusetts Supreme Court Chief Justice Margaret H. Marshall
Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support; it brings stability to our society. For those who choose to marry, and for their children, marriage provides an abundance of legal, financial, and social benefits. In return it imposes weighty legal, financial, and social obligations….Without question, civil marriage enhances the “welfare of the community.” It is a “social institution of the highest importance.”

Marriage also bestows enormous private and social advantages on those who choose to marry. Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family…. Because it fulfils yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life’s momentous acts of self-definition.

We had that reading at our own wedding it was awesome (and nicely subversive for the more “traditional” homophobic relatives present as guests.)

Anyhow marriage equality is so important. Yes the UK has civil partnerships but they are bloody well marriages and should be called as such.

All’s left to say is “if you are against same sex marriage, don’t marry someone of the same sex” (Wonda Sykes). Sorted.

Lot’s of love

LadyLovingCurd

P.S Please please please fill in the government consultation on equal marriage. You can do so here . Don’t let the bigots win this one!

Dear Oxytocin

Dear Oxytocin,

You are my absolute favourite of all the hormones. You promote pair bonding and motherly love. You are just all round totally awesome (see here for more info on the fascinating science of love). You are even released at Orgasm. ( here is an interesting article on the neuroscience of sex- though not convinced an orgasmless marriage is the perfect way to keep oxytocin levels and hence the pair bond steady?! )

On Pair Bonding Wikipedia says:

Oxytocin evokes feelings of contentment, reductions in anxiety, and feelings of calmness and security around the mate.^[21] Many studies have already shown a correlation of oxytocin with human bonding, increases in trust, and decreases in fear.

(Although bit scared to read this also on the Wiki page “The inability to secrete oxytocin and feel empathy is linked to sociopathy, psychopathy, narcissism and general manipulativeness,” that explains a lot about a few people I know )

On Breastfeeding, Oxytocin and Maternal bonding I recently found article on breastfeeding, oxytocin and neglect tweeted by KellyMom, to be fascinating. I know for me, following an incredibly traumatic birth, breastfeeding massively helped with my bonding with Oddler. Initially I felt quite detached from her (I had thought we were both going to die – it was a protection mechanism) but breastfeeding was definitely the thing that awakened my maternal bond. (That’s not saying people who don’t breastfeed are not as attached to their babies, that would be stupid, it’s obviously not the only thing affecting a maternal bond, but it has been found to help strengthen it.)

I even have my own oxytocin anecdote (every girl needs one!), I was double pumping a breastmilk top up before bed and LordCurd came over to give me a snog goodnight (he’s been relegated to spare room while Omble feeds all night) and suddenly my milk yield had a huge temporary increase- I could see it in the pump kit! It was hilarious a simple snog must have released Oxytocin and helped with my let down reflex.

I spoke to a lactation consultant about it, and she thought it absolutely brilliant “what a lovely wonderful thing, it obviously proves how much you love him, he must have been really pleased!” Erm he was more creeped out than anything else! I found it funny and weirdly cool, but perhaps a tricky and somewhat odd thing to implement- lots of snogging while pumping to help milk yield.

But yay for Oxytocin. I loves you I do.

Hormonally Yours

LadyPair&MaternallyBondedCurd

Dear Lord Curd

Dear Lord Curd,

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Lord Curd, Happy Birthday to you.

I think I am supposed to take the piss here at you finally reaching the 30milestone (much as you did with me 6months ago) but I shall be kind and say nothing other than I’ve noticed Gingers tend to grow old most gracefully of all (although they do tend to turn into David Brent if we look at your dad.)

Oddler, Omble and I love you so very very much and here’s too many many more birthdays with you (50more minimum thanks).

Lots of Love
WifeCurd
xxx

Finally your turn to drink your morning coffee out of this classy little number.