Dear Fungus The Bogeyman,
Long time no speak! You won’t believe this but LordCurd is suspicious that we had a fling just under a year ago!? It’s so ridiculous, I know I’m not even your type, I know you like em more mucusy than a curdy one like me, (Or at least that’s what you were telling me when I got really drunk at your birthday party that time. 😉 )
In fact I attach a pic of you from that night.
Oh and while I remember here is a picture of our latest addition to the family!
Love to the rest of the Bogeymen, and please apologise to Mrs Bogeyman again for my being sick in her azaleas.
Lots of love
P.S it’s your birthday again soon isn’t it? Early April sometime?….. Oh.