Dear Woman of a Certain Age,
Today I have decided to embrace you whole heartedly. I have taken my tongue piercing out and I brought an item of clothing in Marks and Spencers.
I might even use night cream on my face tonight.
“I am 30 (and not getting any younger dear)”, hear me roar*
Lots of love
*before choking on my tears at the loss of my former youthful identity.