Dear Health Visitors,
I don’t mean to be a tittle tattle but do you know how much we lie to you?
Do you know how much of brave face we put on coping with motherhood so you don’t start to monitor us further?
Do you know how we will pretend to have a host of awesome healthy, family friendly, housewifely coping activities planned for later in the afternoon when the reality is we plan to be slumped in front of Cbeebies mainlining chocolate?
Do you know we nod and excitedly say “good tip!” when you wax lyrical about how best to wean, potty train, look after teeth and then ignore the majority of your advice as we are “path of least resistance” parents, plus we know our kids better anyway.
Do you know how much we hate your faux concern and support when something happens in the family eg. A bereavement or a child with a broken arm etc, as really we know you are looking for evidence of not-coping, neglect or child abuse.
Do you know that that applies to most of the families you look after except for me obviously? I really am coping, I really am baking with the toddler this afternoon while breastfeeding the newborn in the sling, followed by a nature walk, and I really really appreciate all your advice and your concern.