I’m so so sorry that I smacked you on Wednesday. I always swore I wouldn’t be one of those parents using brute force to manage the behaviour of someone so much smaller than myself. That just isn’t right.
I was so tired after your sister had kept me up all night and sad because we’d had a rubbish time at a new Playgroup I tried to get us out of the house. You insisted on climbing into the carseat by yourself and as this is usually fine once you started climbing up I went round to clip you your sister in on the other side, except you climbed down again and started to run off in the carpark. I had to leave your sister balanced precariously and run and grab you and try and put you into the carseat, which of course caused a major tantrum and you were kicking, pinching, biting and wriggling so much I couldn’t get you strapped in, your sister was screaming, you were screaming and I was shouting and I’m so sorry that in that split second I momentarily lost it and smacked your leg- not with full force I hasten to add but enough to make you look at me with betrayed hurt and shock as you cried. I cried too.
I got you strapped in and apologised to you and tried to explain. We had a kiss and a cuddle and I think you have forgiven me as you said in your charmingly cute way “thankyou mummy” when we got out of the car at home (before trying to run off down the street again- sigh)
I know you are just a tiny demanding forcefully determined and independent toddler figuring out the world and I know I need to figure out other ways of managing your behaviour rather than resorting to a smack. With hindsight I should have closed the car door on you so you were safe and gone round to strap your screaming and precariously balanced sister in – giving you the time and space to calm down and to sit in your carseat yourself (your issue is everything at the minute is “no! Oddler do it” and a tantrum if we try to help, before sometimes a small voiced “mummy help”) but then hindsight is a wonderful thing.
Anyhow I love you so so much and I promise to work really hard on it not happening again but if you wouldn’t mind hurrying up through the truly terrible two’s that would be lovely.