Dear Biting My Tongue,
So it seems I am a bit obsessed with writing letters to tongues and tongue related things. (in fact its my probably my second favourite body part to talk about after nipples). I suspect this makes me some kind of pervert. But nevermind.
Today I need to write to you to complain about this biting issue we have going on. Normally my tongue works fine, I hold it in my head and it is mostly civil, but lately my tolerance for such civility is being tested. I suspect the extreme sleep deprivation means my outwardly nice veneer is starting to slip to expose my hellbitch innards
My tongue has teethmarks and they are starting to hurt. I could vent forth with a tongue lashing to seriously beat down the issues (there are several unconnected ones I am biting down about) until they cower before me, suitably apologetic and chastened, but I suspect that is most probably a very unwise course of action. Plus I have an awesome new professional role where practising biting my tongue is going to come in useful. Sigh. I’d much rather practice the Tongue Lashings (that sounds seven kinds of fun), but for now I shall rise above it all
after all you will always be a ***** (insert suitable term) and I am the better nicer person.
Passively Agressively Yours