Dear ASBO Baby

Dear ASBO Baby,

We are writing to inform you that your nighttime behaviour is in need of improvement, drinking all night long and displaying antisocial behaviour if moved on from your favourite drinking spot (Mummy’s All Night Milk Bar) is simply unacceptable.

We are issuing you with an ASBO. The terms are more than fair- you may enjoy a drink as much as you want til pubs close at 11, you are totally welcome to a sneaky nightcap after the clubs close at 2 and before your milk hangover kicks in you are invited to drink again from 5am.

Failing to comply with your new ASBO will result in further sanctions and may result in you being sent to Baby BootCamp.

Yours Sincerely



Dear LadyFromTheCouncilCurd


I’ll do what I like &you can’t stop me, coz I’m cute and have needs and I’ll tell social services. I know me rights!




12 responses to “Dear ASBO Baby

  1. Pingback: Dear Blog | Letters From LadyCurd

  2. Dear LadyCurd
    As a former specialist in ASBO law, I am instructed on behalf of ASBOBabyCurd and write to inform you that, in my considered view, your ASBO has been inproperly served. I have advised ASBOBabyCurd to challenge the prohibitively restrictive terms of this Order and will be assisting her in bringing this matter before the courts.
    If you wish to settle out of court, please contact me as a matter of urgency in order to avoid proceedings being issued.
    ASBOBaby’s Lawyer

    • Dear ASBOBaby’s Lawyer,
      I thought you were my friend! If I pay more (in cake and biscuits) then will you be LadyCurd’s lawyer instead? we must work together against these pesky feral children.

  3. Dear LadyCurd
    I have no client loyalty. Cakes and biscuits it is.
    I shall issue urgent proceedings against ASBOBaby for breach of your human rights.

  4. Oh boy do I remember the all night feeding. And the terms of your ASBO sound very generous – you’ll still hardly be getting any sleep though. Good luck with the enforcement. And once you’ve got the unsociable drinking sorted, perhaps you could issue and ASBO to sort out the non-stop soiling.

    • Well currently we are on 50% all night milk bar, and 50% sleeping in hammock after a big feed so there has been an improvement. Too many poomageddons though- you are right that is worth another ASBO 😉

  5. Simply excellent. Bloody excellent short read, and image!

  6. Ha ha poomageddon! I remember the constant through-the-night feeds with a poo before and a poo after, which then segued nicely into yet another feed to recover from ignominy of early hours nappy change. And on and on and on…

  7. Pingback: Dear Twitter | Letters From LadyCurd

  8. haha – mine was doing that in his SCAN photo!

  9. Pingback: Dear Sleep Thief | Letters From LadyCurd

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