Dear ASBO Baby,
We are writing to inform you that your nighttime behaviour is in need of improvement, drinking all night long and displaying antisocial behaviour if moved on from your favourite drinking spot (Mummy’s All Night Milk Bar) is simply unacceptable.
We are issuing you with an ASBO. The terms are more than fair- you may enjoy a drink as much as you want til pubs close at 11, you are totally welcome to a sneaky nightcap after the clubs close at 2 and before your milk hangover kicks in you are invited to drink again from 5am.
Failing to comply with your new ASBO will result in further sanctions and may result in you being sent to Baby BootCamp.
I’ll do what I like &you can’t stop me, coz I’m cute and have needs and I’ll tell social services. I know me rights!