Dear CK One

Dear CK One,

I have a confession. You make me think of sex whenever I smell you.

Thankfully you are not as popular a scent as you used to be but it can be pretty embarrassing to suddenly have sexytime thoughts when walking down the street.

It’s not your fault, it’s the fault of my high school sex education teacher. She told us that “sex had a certain smell, and that people would KNOW if you had been having sex”. So as a teenager when I lost my virginity to my then boyfriend, so convinced was I that EVERYONE WOULD KNOW I HAD BEEN HAVING SEX, and not having access to a shower to rid myself of this potent sex smell that clearly I was now exuding from every single pore even though I couldn’t particularly smell anything that different I decided to douse myself literally from head to toe in CK one, before my dad came to pick me up & take me home. I overdid it rather- I remember my dad had to open the window and I was so paranoid he just knew!

For evermore I smell CK One and I am transported back to those clumsy fumbles in hot summer afternoons in my boyfriend’s bedroom and to me CK One will always always smell of sex.

My perfume of choice these days is Eau de BabyVomShite, it smells of the anti-sex.


Nasally receptively yours



3 responses to “Dear CK One

  1. I remember when CK One was the most sophisticated, sensual scent in the world. (Now, citrus just makes me think, “Ew, gauche!” for the same reason.) But like you said in your tweet, it’s Lynx Africa that drags my teen libido out of the memory hole. Adolescent sweat and cheap EDT = a passion party in my nose.

    • Do they even still do CK one and Lynx Africa? Might have to buy some testers for a trip down memory lane- or is that weird!? 😉

  2. Lynx Java will forever be my memory of awkward fumbles at school discos. Sadly those awkward fumbles weren’t mine…

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