Dear Gendered Insults2 (A Guest Post)

Dear Reader,

Firstly please see here for an explanation into why the title of this post has nowchanged.

@ProfTentacles was so inspired by Dear Cock  he felt need to write his own letter, & far far superior it is to mine – I think sequels often are although we probably ultimately disagree on the ending

Anyhow here is Dear Cock2 (A Guest Post)

Yours sincerely


Dear Cock,

You’re a great word. You can be personal: “You’re a cock.” You can be situational: “This is a bit of a cock-up, really.” You can be a positive, life affirming thing: “I’m just cocking about on the internet.” You’re a sturdy, reliable word. You’ve always been there when I’ve needed you, like the mate that picks you up where your car’s broken down or internet porn.

You’re the big man on the block: more popular that dick, classier than knob and funnier than dong. You have a forceful, plosive sound. You are, in every way, the cock of the walk.

But that leaves the poor ladies in the shade.  How is it fair that cock has become so acceptable that the chaps on Top Gear can award each other a Golden Cock for being stupid, whilst the feminine equivalents have a somewhat… different feel.

We’re a funny species: so obsessed with the mechanics of sex, surrounding it with rites and processes to the point where the phrase ‘couldn’t organise an orgy in a brothel’ is not only coined but becomes a good description  of our procreative capacity. But for all our fascination, as society has evolved, we’ve become more coy and embarrassed; and nowhere is this more obvious than in our relationship with words for the female genital area.

Let’s be honest here: ‘cock’ has a rugged, rough and tumble feel. It’s all good fun. So does dick, knob, dong, schlong… but your female cousins seem to carry along with them a taint. They are somewhat unclean, aren’t they? Clunge, flange, vag, gash… they’re not nice. Because, me old cock, they’re not there to glamourise, are they? Cock is a glamorous word: strong, noble. “Don’t be such a cock,” often carries an air of grudging admiration. “That’s gash,” on the other hand – nothing to admire there. Pussy is weak, feeble: to be ‘pussy-whipped’ is the very antithesis of the butch go-getting of ‘cocksure’, isn’t it?


But there is one, isn’t there, one word that has the power and stature you enjoy? But it’s a word that’s shrouded in horror and despair. Even I, who has spent the last half-hour frankly enjoying writing the word ‘cock’ as often as possible and has been known to send emails to Senior Managers at my place of work that consist only of the word COCK is 50pt red Times New Roman, even I hesitate to say it.

But we must. We must level the playing field. We must make the female equal to the male; we must normalise the words. More than that: cock is not usually denigratory. It’s not used to put people down. Cunt is. To call someone a cunt carries with it undertones of inferiority, unworthiness and dirt: and that is the underlying sexism that must change. After all, asJames McDonald suggests in the The Wordsworth Dictionary of Obscenity and Taboo, cunt might come from an old English word,cynd, meaning“origin, generation, birth, kind, offspring”: and that’s frankly marvellous. That’s superior, worthy and – let’s not beat around the bush – awesome.

So, dear cock, I have to tell you that you’ll be going into semi-retirement. I’m going to do my bit for equality. And so should you: the next time you want to call someone a cock, call ‘em a cunt instead.


Cock Cunt


One response to “Dear Gendered Insults2 (A Guest Post)

  1. Pingback: Dear Vagina | Letters From LadyCurd

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