Dear Sticky Tape Girl,
Following on from me writing to Teenager writing Angst ridden poetry, I figure it is now time to write to you
and share my young adult writing angst ridden stories. I wrote you about 10 years ago and it’s funny the impact writing you has had on my life. I often think how far I have come from The Little Sticky Tape Girl I once was with way way too much angst for my own good, and sometimes I recognise myself slipping into old habits and I make a concerted effort to peel back the layers and really work out and share what is going on to move on and heal from whatever it is, so thankyou for helping me learn how to over-analyse do that.
I guess I’m writing to tell you that although the story is far from over- (I hope!). I did meet my handsome &wonderful LordCurd (yeah I know not a Prince but a Lord will do just as well and he is pretty awesome 🙂 ) and most of the time we muddle along just right – main thing is I know when things aren’t okay and I know when to seek help from those who love me.
So thanks Little Sticky Tape Girl for being such a significant non-person in my life.
Lots of adhesive love
Once upon a time there was a little girl, she was born beautiful, perfect, delicate as glass but hard as a rock. As time went on, as life threw its power at her, parts started to break off, she tried to attach them with sticky tape. By the time she was totally in control of her own life, there was so much sticky tape wrapped around her you could hardly see her beneath it, and she could hardly see out. She felt safe beneath the sticky tape, but sometimes people tried to get close. She would let them peel back some of the layers, but she felt so scared, exposed and vulnerable in their judgmental eyes, she had to pull back, and build up the layers again to protect herself, sometimes thicker than they were before. She always hoped that one day a handsome prince would come, with gentle hands to remove her sticky safe shackles, she waited and waited, but in the meantime the sticky tape binds were growing thicker and getting tight. She was uncomfortable beneath her ties, and longed to throw them off and be fixed, but she was so very scared of losing parts of her that she tried so hard to protect.
Time went on, and for many years she was alone, but she had other broken friends, some were stuck together with superglue, some with duct tape, some with staples, they were all broken in different amounts and they too had all been born perfect. She and her broken friends waited together. Some of them felt they were fixed when knights came to rescue them, but this little girl only had nights to come and rescue her. The little girl decided to explore her world for herself, and try to find a way to free herself and open herself up. She travelled to far away lands, she met people who changed her, opened her sticky eyes, on her return she found that somehow some of the sticky tape had been lost, snagged behind in the experiences of the other world. She realised that she had to build on these experiences that had changed her, and from then on would grasp every opportunity that came to her, with both her sticky hands.
One day, she decided to go and speak to a wise woman, this wise woman was like a mirror, only reflected what was said, and never judged. Through spending time with the wise woman, the little girl felt safe enough to peel back some of the sticky tape, sometimes it hurt and still left an uncomfortable sticky residue but that soon attracted bits of fluff, and so she felt safe again. Sometimes she was surprised to find the bits underneath she thought were broken were in fact fixed, and sometimes no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t remove certain bits of tape, though her nails wore down from trying. She spent a lot of time talking to her other broken friends, and was surprised to find that they were often broken in the same places, and this helped her not to feel so alone.
As time went on she never became the perfect delicate thing she once was, but she learnt ways of finding out why each individual piece of sticky tape was there. She learnt ways of fixing herself when a new bit broke off, that didn’t involve sticky tape, and most importantly she learnt not to hide who she was even if sometimes it meant that it was hard to be her friend. Her true sticky friends stayed with her throughout her journey, but after a long time she learnt that she could be happy on her own, and didn’t need them to be there all the time. Her journey has been long and tough, and is by no means over, but she now knows that now she can be comfortable in herself, with herself and by herself. She now feels safe enough to show who she is to some handsome prince, who will love her, just as she is. Little girls always think that handsome princes will be the one to rescue them, but this sticky tape girl learnt that the only person to rescue her was herself, and this is the new journey she takes herself on. She no longer waits for a handsome prince, but knows she will probably bump into one or two on her journey.
Does this story end happily ever after? This sticky tape girl will have to let you know.