Dear Last Baby?
I’m not 100% convinced you are the last baby although Lord Curd apparently is.
working on him
You are already 3months old and no longer my tiny floppy headed scrunched up froggy newborn. You have already grown out of some of your clothes although you still feed and wake as constantly as a newborn does which funnily enough is no consolation!
I sometimes find myself wishing we were further along, that you weren’t so dependent on me for food or to get to sleep and then I remember if you are my last, I need to treasure every last sleep deprived ouchy nippled moment with you for I “won’t get that time again”. I must stop wishing your life away!
If you truly are my last baby, I can’t believe I have experienced pregnancy for the last time, I’m weirdly finding myself missing the vomiting, the exhaustion, the insomnia, the very horny dreams,
especially the very horny dreams!. I’m a weirdo who loses weight when pregnant apart from the bump. I have defined cheekbones and glossy hair and perfect glowing skin. (And now at three months post natal my skin has assumed it’s usual greyish tinge and my hair is moulting everywhere- sigh!). When pregnant I can wear dresses – I love wearing dresses but if I do normally everyone asks me when my baby is due (Pesky pot belly)! But erm no-one has babies for vanity reasons do they! (wish the lovely pregnancy hormones were available on prescription, just not the ick ones :))
I can’t believe I will never experience birth again, after one horrifically traumatic and one beautiful natural healing experience, I want to try a home water birth- I actually want to experience birth again (something I never ever thought I would say after having Oddler!).
I can’t believe you might be the last baby I will ever breastfeed, when I finish feeding for ever that will be a massive wrench after all that is the one thing I do with you that no-one else shares. It’s incredibly special to me.
But if you really and truly are my last baby then I need to celebrate and enjoy every moment with you for I know that “this too shall pass” and even though I have often contemplated handing mothersucker you over to the Binmen, I actually need to cherish every milestone you reach for this maybe the last time I will experience those things. Even that thought makes me sad.
Don’t grow up too quickly my darling little possibly last baby Omble (but do start sleeping through asap- you know I’m a much better mother when I have had sleep!).
Lots of Love