Dear Last Baby?

Dear Last Baby?

I’m not 100% convinced you are the last baby although Lord Curd apparently is. working on him

You are already 3months old and no longer my tiny floppy headed scrunched up froggy newborn. You have already grown out of some of your clothes although you still feed and wake as constantly as a newborn does which funnily enough is no consolation!

I sometimes find myself wishing we were further along, that you weren’t so dependent on me for food or to get to sleep and then I remember if you are my last, I need to treasure every last sleep deprived ouchy nippled moment with you for I “won’t get that time again”. I must stop wishing your life away!

If you truly are my last baby, I can’t believe I have experienced pregnancy for the last time, I’m weirdly finding myself missing the vomiting, the exhaustion, the insomnia, the very horny dreams, especially the very horny dreams!. I’m a weirdo who loses weight when pregnant apart from the bump. I have defined cheekbones and glossy hair and perfect glowing skin. (And now at three months post natal my skin has assumed it’s usual greyish tinge and my hair is moulting everywhere- sigh!). When pregnant I can wear dresses – I love wearing dresses but if I do normally everyone asks me when my baby is due (Pesky pot belly)! But erm no-one has babies for vanity reasons do they! (wish the lovely pregnancy hormones were available on prescription, just not the ick ones :))

I can’t believe I will never experience birth again, after one horrifically traumatic and one beautiful natural healing experience, I want to try a home water birth- I actually want to experience birth again (something I never ever thought I would say after having Oddler!).

I can’t believe you might be the last baby I will ever breastfeed, when I finish feeding for ever that will be a massive wrench after all that is the one thing I do with you that no-one else shares. It’s incredibly special to me.

But if you really and truly are my last baby then I need to celebrate and enjoy every moment with you for I know that “this too shall pass” and even though I have often contemplated handing mothersucker you over to the Binmen, I actually need to cherish every milestone you reach for this maybe the last time I will experience those things. Even that thought makes me sad.

Don’t grow up too quickly my darling little possibly last baby Omble (but do start sleeping through asap- you know I’m a much better mother when I have had sleep!).

Lots of Love



The thought of none of my babies fitting theses shoes anymore makes me so very sad.


11 responses to “Dear Last Baby?

  1. My last baby is 3 now. No longer a baby but a little girl who can tell me quite eloquently what she does and does not want. As much as I don’t miss the lack of sleep and constantly having a boob out to feed, I loved being pregnant and having a tiny baby, it makes me sad to think she will be my last. I think a lot of women feel that way, hormones are very powerful. I think my last baby will always be my baby, even when she is a grown woman, possibly with a family of her own. You are so right, enjoy every precious, difficult, exhausting moment with your girls because there will soon be a day when they don’t think they need you any more *sobs into coffee*

  2. I feel like this too! Often I desperately want another, and at other times I think mine are so special and have such a great relationship together that that would be selfish and not fair to them. There would also be a big gap as we can’t afford another right now. Zoe Williams wrote about this in the Guardian a while back – see penultimate paragraph It is so hard, but it’s true, they will always be so special and always be our babies (also all sobby now).

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  5. Lovely post missus! I know exactly how you feel. I doubt we will have more, although the broodiness is at an unbelievable level considering my 2 & 1/2 year old rarely sleeps through!! It makes me sad to think I might never experience pregnancy again, even the sicky bit, and even sadder to think that I might never experience giving birth again. That moment when they’re born and you get to hold them for the first time, I want that again! But then I think I’m just being greedy. I have two gorgeous babies. I’ve experienced great pregnancies and births and for that I’m extremely blessed. I keep telling myself I need to focus on the two fantastic little people I have and let them keep the lovely little bond they’ve got between them instead of wishing for more xxx

    • Ah so this feeling isn’t going to go two years from now then? NARGH! Ah well will work on embracing my two little awesome people too. Once we reach menopause we won’t think like this right?

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