Dear ProChoice Mummy,
I had a bit of a silly little wobbly today about my abortion letters going next to my baby letters on my bloglist. There are reasons for this:
Two of the most horrific things said to me by pro-lifers about my pro-choice stance have gone too close to the bone.
“you support baby’s brains being cut out with scissors”
At the time of that one, I was in the height of PTSD from Oddler who was a forceps delivery with suspect brain damage, so understandably I was in absolute bits after that one. (However late term abortion (ie. when a foetus could be potentially viable outside of the womb and actually considered a baby) is LESS THAN 1% of ALL abortions, and usually only carried out in exceptional circumstances- more often than not when the foetus has a condition not compatible with life or a life without considerable suffering- and given a lack of doctors qualified in late term abortions in the UK, many late term abortions are now in fact inductions, therefore using such a horrific graphic statement as if it is FACT about ALL abortions is a deliberately vile tactic to try and silence people and scare people away from saying they are prochoice).
“Look your unborn baby in the eye once she is born and tell her you supported murdering of ones like her “
Said when I was 7months pregnant with Omble. 😦 This didn’t make me sad, this made me angry. Omble was incredibly wanted especially after I lost one of my fallopian tubes and thought I might never have another child. To use my beautiful wanted baby girl to try and silence me from supporting other women and their right to choose what to do in a crisis pregnancy, really pissed me off. My mummy hackles were raised and you know what? I will look my beautiful girls in the eye and tell them I am so proud of them and how wanted they were and how that no matter what they always have a choice if faced with a crisis pregnancy and I will always support them. So there.
Having things like that said to you can shake your pro-choice convictions to the core, especially if you have ever been pregnant or had a child (for some reason I am way way more sensitive post children than I ever was pre-children- the stupidest things can have me in tears). So I have worries about my stance as a Pro-Choice Mummy as I was pondering whether I need to keep my pro-choice activism separate from my baby and toddler obsessed life, because I don’t want to invite such foul and vitriolic comments towards my beautiful and very much wanted babies.
Thing is that is EXACTLY what the pro-life movement are banking on. They want to guilt mothers into not standing up for abortion rights, because if they are “good” mothers they shouldn’t be advocating “killing innocent children”. Arguments about when life begins aside, abortion is actually statistically safer for a woman than pregnancy and birth (link), and pregnancy and motherhood is the hardest and most difficult thing I have ever experienced, and I desperately wanted my kids- I would never in a million years want a woman to be forced to go through with that experience unwillingly. All that can create is desperately unhappy unwanted children/mothers or worse.
So I am writing to you dear Pro Choice Mummy to remind you to be proud in your pro-choice convictions. It has absolutely no bearing on you as a mother apart from maybe making you even more empathetic and compassionate. Stand up for what you believe and bring your bumps, babies and toddlers along with you on your pro-choice marches so they can learn about the importance of fighting for their rights from a young age (especially bring ones like Omble as she is the master of the dirty protest! ;)).
ProChoice Mama’s don’t be silent, stand up and shout!
Lot’s of love