Dear Right Testicle

Dear Reader,

I know you have only clicked on this because you are desperate to know about my right testicle having previously assumed I was a woman. My gender identity aside, I  asked @DrDlittle to guest post this for me as writing to bodyparts has become a bit of a theme in this blog and his have a story to tell.  I could have put that this was a guest post in the title and tweet but then I reckon fewer of you would have clicked on it- coz lets face it- you possibly only clicked to find out if I’m actually a man ;), and now I have got you here by such subterfuge- I need you all to read his AMAZEBALLS I’ll get me coat letter to his right testicle and take heed and share. Check Those Balls!




Dear Right Testicle,

It has now been over two years since your neighbour was removed after it tried to kill me. Your ex-neighbour has almost certainly been incinerated save for a slice or two preserved on a microscope slide stored in a warehouse somewhere.

I hope you are enjoying a somewhat roomier existence on your own down there and I hope you aren’t too lonely, I just couldn’t quite face a prosthetic to keep you company.

You are what makes me a man, not only biochemically but also psychologically. Now you are on your own, it means you have to work a little harder and you are doing a great job so far but please keep up the good work, otherwise we’re both in trouble!

I never paid much attention to your existence prior to January 2010 and I’m sorry that I didn’t examine you regularly, I realise now that I should have.  I was lucky I noticed early that the left one had changed although by the time it was removed, it had almost all been replaced by cancer.  I wasn’t particularly sad to see it go, in-fact, after being told it was cancerous, I couldn’t get rid of it quick enough. You were always my favourite anyway, right one!

I promise, I’ll take good care of you rightie, now there is only one of you, you’re
even more important. Let’s make a deal, I’ll scratch your back, if you scratch mine, I’ll examine you regularly, just as long as you don’t go all cancerous on me ok?

All my (extremely manly) love,

P.S  Look after your testicles, get to know them, appreciate what they feel like normally, feel them regularly and if you notice any change, get it checked out ASAP.

P.P.S As most of you reading are probably women, make sure you pass on the above message to the men in your life.


2 responses to “Dear Right Testicle

  1. frolickingfood

    Never liked the left one anyway. Xx

  2. Love this. Smilee_mr is with you on this (although he will argue left is best!) 8 yrs lopsided and happy as sperm in semen 🙂
    Can’t emphasise enough how important it is to know your balls and pleeeeeease don’t ignore anything that’s not normal.
    There is life after a bollock-ectomy (that’s the medical term don’t you know) and our 15 month old bundle of dribbly joy can vouch for that.
    Lover of lopsided-ness MWAH 🙂

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