Dear Midwife


Dear Midwife,

Today is International Day of the Midwife and I am a bit obsessed with Midwives it seems.  Have just been going through my blogs,  to discover what I have written about you and I discover it’s an awful lot! I wrote this thanking all that helped second time and this about my wonderful comunity midwives first time, and this  about my love for the NHS and this about the midwife with her brilliant deadpan humour that helped me hugely.  I also wrote real life letters – to the first hospital they received a huge complaint letter about some of the care I received but also a genuine thank you letter for aspects of my care and the second hospital received a heartfelt thankyou letter for helping me bring Omble into the world without trauma.

I am in total awe of Midwives and the impact on a woman’s birthing experience.  As many of you know I had an uttterly horrific first birth experience (here) which was made all the worse by poor midwife care (in particular this one who when complained about refused to admit she was in the wrong and so was placed under supervision), but thanks to incredible support from my community midwives and the head of delivery suite (a former midwife) I was able to go on and have an absolutely brilliant experience second time.  The head of the delivery suite kept saying “you just need someone to be kind to you this time”, and it’s true I did. I even had to put it in my second birth plan, but I needn’t have worried- the two midwives I had with me helping me bring Omble into the world were brilliant, so calm and  reassuring and I totally trusted them that it would be okay this time.  I am now even planning a home water birth for number 3 (if there is one?).

I do believe I was just very unlucky first time and I do think midwives do an amazing job under huge amounts of stress and pressure.  I know the horrible experience I had first time was partly due to staff shortages- we were left alone a lot and those that were on duty (early hours of Sunday morning) seemed to be agency midwives and rather inexperienced and unfortunately the ones I had were rather uncaring but I will never forget the “Midwife with the Halo” (who I wrote about in my first birth story- she came into me when we had been left alone and in those moments she was with me she calmed me down and made me feel safe and reassured and the pain genuinely reduced, but then she had to leave and it all went wrong again),  I do think had I had her with me during my first birth it would have ended very differently and much more positively.

So dear Midwife- I’m writing to let you know you are amazing, wonderful inspirational people who can make such and phenomenal difference to women’s lives and to let you know I have signed the petition*.

Lots of Love

LadyLabourLovingCurd

P.S This letter was inspired by @Fiona_Peacock‘s letter to her midwife

*The Royal College of Midwives is asking people to please sign this petition calling for an extra 5,000 midwives to deal with the increasing numbers of babies born each year.   I know personally how staff shortages can affect  birth outcomes (I do feel had I had Midwives as good as I did second time as I did the first time- some of the stuff with Oddler wouldn’t have happened), so I’m begging you to please sign the petition as if this petition achieves 100,000 then this issue will be debated within the House of Commons. Spread the word, for midwives, for antenatal and postnatal women and of course for the babies.

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One response to “Dear Midwife

  1. Will definitely be signing the petition. Thank you for alerting me to it! My first child was born 10 days after I moved to a new town. I hadn’t even visited the hospital, let alone met any midwives, but the one I had when I turned up, without warning, 90 mins before giving birth, was brilliant. She was very firm but very calm – didn’t do anything without telling me why or how. I kept feeling like a person, even though something so utterly strange was happening. They need to know the difference they can make.
    (Because my brother was starved of oxygen at birth and is disabled, I used to feel quite hostile towards midwives – as though they’d let “us” down and therefore the more medicalised a birth was, the better. I used to think “if my mum had been offered a caesarean, everyone’s life would be so much better”. But the responsibility placed on midwives is huge, and they are not fully recognised for this. And birth is so unpredictable. There are some real stars out there, and they have such a positive impact on the early days.)

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