Dear “Modern Man”/ “New Man”/ “SAHD”


Dear “Modern Man”/ “New Man”/ “SAHD”,

So I wrote to LordCurd describing him as a Modern Man yesterday, and I was chatting with @glosswitch who pointed out we do tend to exalt the “Modern Man”/ “New Man”/ SAHD”.  Society seems to give them “a big pat on the back for doing something millions of women do every day just because you’re a man! Big sodding deal!”.  

She has a very good point.  Now I am not saying LordCurd is not awesome for currently doing slightly more than his fair share in the house. But say hypothetically we were equal in the house (which this week we totally are- I have done loads- just check the #twitterasskick hashtag!), it would still be Lord Curd who gets the adulation for being such a fantastic husband and father. If I load the dishwasher, that’s just me doing “my job”, not an example of me being a fantastic wife.  If I change a nappy that’s just me being a mum not an example of me being a fantastic mum, yet if LordCurd changes a nappy he is so “hand’s on” and “I am so lucky for having a man like that”. Um isn’t that just called parenting?  We both agreed to have kids, we both live in a house that needs “running”. The ONLY thing I do that LordCurd can’t,  is breastfeeding- in the early days that is practically a full time job in itself.

Don’t get me wrong I know how lucky I am to be married to a man as lovely as Lord Curd, and I do promise to make sure there is a more equal balance to our family life from now on, but I reckon we are pretty much on a 58:42 dealio at mo so it’s not too severe thankfully (and if you count I parent throughout the night everynight then actually I do LOADS!). It will be really interesting to see how both our roles in the house develop as I go properly back to work two days a week and LordCurd becomes a SAHD for one day a week. Especially because LordCurd will be the MOST AMAZING DAD EVER for his one day whereas grumpy blue arsed fly SAHM me for 3days a week will just be, well grumpy and blue arsed flyey.

I have decided it is time to get cross about this. I am now going to loudly shout “SEXIST ARSEWIPE!mansized tissue?” at any bloke who thinks he is deserving of any extra special attention doing something mundane and dull just because he is a man and it’s normally “woman’s work”. Oh and I may come up with some choice phrase for women my mother in law who also do the same, (although then again SEXIST ARSEWIPE is thankfully not a gendered insult so can suit both). Thankfully LordCurd is not a sexist arsewipe at all, and doesn’t expect anything special for his roles in our family but obviously I show him my gratitude as he does me (because that’s just a nice human way to behave), but my gosh there are some people out there who really need to get a grip and stop revering the “Modern Man”/”New Man”/ “SAHD” JUST FOR CONTRIBUTING TO THE FAMILY EQUALLY. Tis the equality within the running of the household that is the crucial thing after all. Mais non?

Or am I being unreasonable?

Lot’s of love

LadyReallyGettingIntoThisFeministLarkCurd

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3 responses to “Dear “Modern Man”/ “New Man”/ “SAHD”

  1. I think an additional side to this is that while men working outside the home are seen as noble and responsible, women working outside the home can be seen as lucky “career women”, having some great treat bestowed on them by the patriarchy so they can buy shoes and chardonnay (rent? what’s that?).
    Mind you, I write this and I’m in the office, meant to be working. And I’ve just phoned my partner and asked him to put tea on. Um. Yeah. I’m the victim in all this, honest.

  2. Haha great post! and very true. Like when u nip out for an hour or two and they never let you.forget that they babysat for you. like they’re just YOUR kids! 🙂

  3. My husband once said it would be nice if he got proper acknowledgement of any jobs he did in the house. I said if he acknowledged everything that I did then fine. He never mentioned it again! 😀

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