Dear Heart

Dear Heart,

Felt I had to write to you, given I have written to many other body parts, it seems remiss of  me not to write to you given your importance in my life and keeping me alive and all that.  To be honest I’m a bit worried about you at the minute for various reasons. Your Dad’s heart condition that ultimately killed him is hereditary- looks like your brother’s heart has same condition and tomorrow you have to phone your dad’s consultant to arrange tests to see if you have the same, although you are lucky being a female heart is somewhat protective.

I know I need to look after you better dear heart, you get too much saturated fat (dam that chocolate addiction) and you don’t often get a good cardiovascular work out.   Thankfully you are pumping blood around a body that isn’t overweight (thanks to breastfeeding but when I stop this may change, if I’m still eating as ginger cake a day). But still I’m 30, my brother and dad had both had heart attacks by now. I have to watch it. I want to grow old and watch my girls grow up. I want to be a grandma one day.

A valentine’s heart for a scientist or doctor (Thanks @silv24 for sharing pic)

As romantic hearts go you’ve pretty much done me proud, I’d say you only truly got stamped on three times (saying “broken hearted” is daft- hearts are resilient they don’t break unless you are dead!) – twice in South Africa (same bloke- you were a fool to let him in again, but now he is your friend on Facebook and the weird “soulmate” intensity is no longer there!) and once by the gaslighting fuckwit who ended up having rather a lot written about him in the card which is now my avatar. He once gave me a bullet with his name on “to shoot him through the heart with if I ever cheated on him!”. Um.  He was also a friend on facebook until he was deleted him as he is not someone needed in your life.  I did offer him the bullet back as at the time he had told me it was his grandfathers and incredibly special to him so would have been mean to throw it away. He declined. I still haven’t thrown it way- plan on using it as a prop to warn my girls about the dangers of abusive relationships.


Said bullet in original case with original cotton wool. Hope said fuckwit never reads this!

Heart overall, you probably got quite bruised quite a few more times than the stampings mentioned above, but to be totally fair you have inadvertently done your own share of bruising other people’s, I know you aren’t proud of this, and have never set out to hurt anyone intentionally. I think you probably have the Sunscreen lyrics tattooed onto you somewhere:

“Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.”

Tis a good motto to live and love by.  Anyhow now you have the lovely LordCurd, who not only looks after your physical heart by providing it with nourishing healthy food (although he does also provide chocolate and wine on demand too! Yay but grr!) and um encourages exercise of a sort ;), but he also looks after your romantic heart, the footprints of the previous stampings having completely vanished since you met him.

Anyhow dear heart. I hope you will be okay for another 50years, I hope you don’t have the same genetic thingummy bob as your dear old dad and brother, I hope you will carry on being as full as love for LordCurd and Oddler and Omble as you are today. Keep on beating. For me.

Heartfelt Love



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