Dear Parents of Potty Training Toddlers

Dear Parents of Potty Training Toddlers,

This is a public service announcement. I am sharing this story with you so you don’t make the same mistake I made this afternoon.

My toddler is incredibly good at going on the loo for wees and usually poo, but today the inevitable happened. A giant shit of epic proportions filled her tiny pants. In removing said pants something rather catastrophic occurred, I lay her down as I would to remove a nappy and somehow, in trying to take the poo filled pants off I somehow created a knicker catapult with the stetchy pants around my toddlers legs. My toddler wriggled as I was holding onto the pants, jerking them out of my hand. I watched in horror as the poo was flung forward at force towards my toddlers face belly and landed with a splat. Of course she screamed and jerked about trying to get the huge round portion of poo off her belly which only caused it to roll further around leaving a smeary fecal trail. This was all going on in slow motion, as I tried desperately to grab at the poo with a wet wipe. There were tears as I was crying with laughter and it required extensive cleanup and a bath.

It was rather traumatic for all concerned and really could have all been solved if I had been clever enough to take the poo filled pants off her while she stood up, instead of lying her down. For the love of easy cleanup NEVER EVER LIE YOUR TODDLER DOWN TO TAKE OFF SHITTY PANTS UNLESS YOU INTEND TO CUT THEM OUT OF THEM.

You’re welcome


Oddler proving the stretchy catapult capabilities with a clean pair. You have been warned!


9 responses to “Dear Parents of Potty Training Toddlers

  1. I’m laughing so hard, poor sleeping Oliver is jiggling up and down on my lap.

  2. Not 100% sure why I find this so funny, given that I have a stubborn, yet-t0-be-trained toddler of my own… But thank you for the heads up!

  3. Cannot stop laughing at your poo catapult story.

  4. Ah, the old knicker elastic catapult claims another victim. I was unaware that my daughter had done a poo in her pants when she said she wanted a wee. I took her to the loo, pulled down her pants, unaware that I was catapulting the poo across the room – where I promptly sat in it! Of course this happened at the house of the skinniest friend I have – no hope of borrowing any clothes from her wardrobe.

  5. Unfortunately I know to take pooey pants off a child standing up because I still have memories of standing in the bathroom while my mother took such pants off of me.

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