Dear Midwife with a Halo,
You won’t remember me, you only met me for 10 minutes in my traumatic labour with my first child that went on to give me childbirth PTSD which has affected me ever since, but you have had such a profound impact on my recall of my birth experience that I wanted you to know that in my head you will always be “midwife with a halo” and I know that had I had you as my midwife, my birth experience would have been very different indeed.
We were on our own in a busy london hospital awaiting an epidural, I was screaming, in agony, very very frightened and feeling the urge to push, we desperately needed help and then you came in. You had blonde hair (your halo), you held my hand and stroked my arm and checked things that needed to be checked, you reassured me it wasn’t time to push yet, I had a little way to go but that I’d be okay. I begged you to stay with me but you couldn’t because you had left the lady you were with to deal with me (why was my own midwife not there?), and you had to get back to her, you were so apologetic and kind.
I swear in the few minutes you were with me, my pain lessened, I felt calmer and more in control, you were fantastic and even though the birth went completely to shit after you left (not something I blame you for at all, you rightly had your own patient to deal with and shouldn’t have even been with me as an extra!), I still remember you so so fondly and think what a fabulous midwife you must be and how women are so lucky to recieve your care.
To all other midwifes I want to remind you of your power, your power to calm and soothe a woman in deep distress and pain. Touching and stroking, kind words all can have such a deep and long lasting impact on a birth experience, never forget that. These skills give you a halo.
Love LadyC who is 32 weeks pregnant with number 3 and hoping for a Midwife with a Halo this time for the duration!