Dear Angst Bombs,
An Angst Bomb dropped last week.
On my head.
Normally I let the worries of the world wash over me, having a relentlessly cheerful “Twill all be fine” attitude. Remaining upbeat and positive even when things are pretty shitty is actually something I pride myself on and has got me through some pretty tough times. Maybe before I just selectively ignored what was going on?
Last week I found myself utterly overwhelmed by the world. I was filled with helpless rage and relentless worry, so much so I had to take a break from my twitter timeline (although admittedly I still tweeted and replied to @mentions) and all other forms of news as I just could not take any more.
Some of the things that worried me (and are still worrying me) about the world are-
- Abortion rights in a world where some men claim your body can stop you from getting pregnant if its a “legitimate rape”.
- The complete lack of understanding that a terrifying amount of people have about what consent actually is and rape or sexual assault are.
- The debt, the cuts, unemployment, the rich getting richer the poor getting poorer. The prospect of Europe going bust.
- The increasing inequalities in this country faced by women, children and young people, anyone non white, anyone non heterosexual for the benefit of the white heterosexual rich man.
- The dismantling of our NHS
- The powers that be shitting all over education and our young people.
- Climate Change and food shortages.
- War, famine, disease, greed, evil etc.
- The ever increasing cost of living
- The arseholes running our country- wiping themselves all over us and then flushing us down the pan.
- All this that my daughters have to look forward to and grow up in. I don’t want this world for them. I want a better one.
It all came to a head when I found myself shrieking to LordCurd “and the potatoes- the poor potatoes!”, as my angst levels reached a new height when reading about how the potato blight had affected the farmers supplying our veg box due to this terrible summer. He has been taking the piss ever since, and I realised I needed to take a break from the world (including my veg box leaflet) and not get all consumed by my rage and my panic at what is going on in the world as otherwise I will be rendered utterly incapable of doing anything about it.
I want positive change, I want things to stop feeling so futile, I want to stop feeling so angry but I also feel incredibly helpless about how to achieve any of that and worry about burn out if I don’t learn how to defuse these angst bombs so I can keep on raging and not end up with angst fatigue which renders me incapable anyway.
So if you could send the de-fusion blueprint to assist with this current situation that would be marvellous. Alternatively if we could harness the energy of my angst bombs to make green energy for all, and the resultant Nobel prize I would obviously get awarded would assist in me easily being elected to president of the world, whereupon I would immediately sort all the shit out and make it a better place for all. That would be lovely.
P.S I realise my list makes me sound a bit of a twat- I probably should have included did also worry about what I was cooking for tea, why Oddler keeps biting me, how much Peppa Pig is too much Peppa Pig, whether we have nits again, whether Omble had a form of epilepsy as she seems vacant sometimes and has virtually no fontanelle and a funny shaped skull!? Whether my tooth was going to fall out due to gum issue caused by tongue piercing, and so on and so on and many other day to day worries that comes with living a life….