Tag Archives: Snot

Dear SnotSnail Oddler

Dear SnotSnail Oddler,
Yikes, I publish Dear Snail Trail two days ago and now it seems you are closer to my slimy invertebrate friends than I initially thought. worries about the power of my blog to come true and regrets turning down James McAvoy now





*hides all the salt in the house just in case*

Lots of Mucusy Love


P.S What did the Slug say to the Snail?
– “Big Issue Guv?”

Dear SnailTrail

Dear Snail Trail,

Following your silvery lines currently covering my sofa, my knees and my shoulders, I expected to find a small shelled slimy but cute invertebrate creature.

Not my Toddler.

The magic has broken.


Lots of Love



Dear Parental Love Awards 2012

Dear Parental Love Awards 2012,

Wow, I am totally honoured to be winner of this years “above and beyond category”. I will treasure it forever.

As you know when little 3week old Omble, she had a nasty snotty cold and was completely unable to feed. Her and I were completely frantic and with no resources to help us I thought I had no choice but to suck the snot from her tiny newborn nose- WITH MY MOUTH! (watches readers retch and recoil with horror)

Yes it was utterly disgusting and no I never ever want to have to do it again, but at the time it worked marvellously and meant my tiny baby could get the feed she desperately needed, so if I ever had to I really would do it again.

However I am now the proud owner of one of these Baby snot suckers.

Which I plan on carrying everywhere with me until my children are capable of blowing their own noses.

I intend on using my prize money from this award to fund research into alternatives to Karvol/Olbas/Vicks that can be used safely before 3months old as well as invest heavily in saline nasal spray companies.

Snuffly but proudly yours