Dear Parent, 101 things to do with your kids in the summer holidays.

Dear Parent,

Well me really. This is actually a letter to myself to try and remember there are so many cool things I can do with my darling offspring in the summer holidays and sometimes the default of watching Frozen for the umpteenth time isn’t groovy. So I thought I would come up with a list of 101 things to do and try and do 2 of them each day with my squiglets. Mine are 4 and 2 so some things may only be suited to this age range but hope it gives you an idea!

#1 Bake some cakes

#2 Play in the garden with trikes etc

#3 Gardening- Water the garden, plant seeds, dead head the flowers

#4 Play doh

#5 Necklace making with the bead sets

#6 Tap tap art

#7 Mess free painting (squirt diff colours paint in the conrers of a ziplock bag and zip up get kids to merge the paints- keep an eye on the ziplock and should be no mess to clear up after!)

#8 Jigsaws

#9 Trip to the park

#10 Trip to a pals for a playdate

#11 make and have a picnic lunch

#12 Fruit picking

#13 trip to the zoo/safari park

#14 Making dens

#15 Making music

#16 dancing round the room like a loon

#17 role play with dollies

#18 role play with dolls house

#19 tents in the garden

#20 home cinema with frozen and popcorn

#21 making ice lollies

#22 crafting

#23 reading

#24 putting on a show

#25 the rolling off the sofa onto the beanbag game

#26 make an obstacle course

#27 treasure hunt

#28 dressing up

#29 playing catch with a ball

#30 races

#31 crafting

#32 duplo

#33 dinosaur hunt (hide all the toy dinosaurs in the garden)

#34 water fight with waterbombs or water pistols

#35 making paper aeroplans

#36 paddling pool

#37 Stomp rocket 

#38 go on a train ride to next city for a mooch

#39 wrapping up presents (old toys) and giving them to each other.

#40 having a teddy bears tea party with mini food

#41 going for a bike ride or scoot

#42 go and see friends baby/cats/rabbits for a coo over them.

#43 freeze small toys in a bag of ice and work out how to free them.

#44 shaving foam on trays with cars

#45 chalk and the pavement/patio

#46 sandpit

#47 themed days eg. pirates, fairies, dinosaurs- kids plan how they want the theme to go (dressing up, talk like a pirate, pirate picnic etc) and do those activities.

#48 play dominos

#49 play guess who

#50 play pop up pirate

#51 make up your own board game

#52 make maracas out of bottles and pasta or lentils

#53 go for a nature walk with a list of things to find

#54 go and feed the ducks

#55 go to the local pub where there is a bouncy castle!

#56 make pancakes

#57 make a stock of birthday cards

#58 sort through and talk through old photos with the kids and help them make their own photo album.

#59 play sleeping lions

#60 play hide and seek

#61 go to a friends who has a trampoline for a bounce

#62 make mud pies

#63 make up a story together whilst going on a walk

#64 take videos of us doing fun stuff for posterity

#65 go swimming

#66 go to soft play

#67 choose one thing to spend pocket money on and buy it and keep change.

#68 face painting

#69 pick flowers

#70 cutting and sticking

#71 mr potato head

#72 have a sleepover

#73 camp in the back garden

#74 finger painting

#75 aquadoodle

#76 ipad time (heck I got to 76 things before I mentioned this one!)

#77 buy things ready for school and preschool and get everything ready

#78 choose the fruit for a fruit salad and make it.

#79 plan the meals for a week and help make them

#80 learn how to tidy up

#81 practice quiet time with lying down with eyes closed and nice music on

#82 blow bubbles

#83 put play glasses on and talk in silly voices all day

#84 draw pictures on the computer and print them out

#85 go and visit relatives

#86 use the play kitchen to make a feast for the polly pockets

#87 go for a drive with the windows down and sunny music playing

#88 go to waitrose for your free coffee and let the kids share a cookie.

#89 go on a bug hunt

#90 hide sweets and play warmer colder….

#91 play snap

#92 play strip jack naked 

#93 play whats the time mr wolf

#94 play hopscotch

#95 play with balloons

#96 play hairdressers or make up artists

#97 practice hopping, skipping and jumping

#98 have a frozen sing song- LET IT GO!

#99 make flags or bunting to decorate the garden

#100 have a role play with finger puppets or other puppets.

#101 ignore your kids completely and let them sodding amuse themselves  because you are now completely bloody knackered.


Dear Men who bring up MGM whenever FGM is mentioned.

Dear Men who bring up MGM whenever FGM is mentioned.

Public service announcement. If you are male and comment on a post about FGM (female genital mutilation) with a “but what about male circumcision- MGM?- that needs to be addressed too”.

Stop, think and SHUT THE FUCK UP. I disagree with all forms of genital mutilation in children (the non-consensual aspect is unacceptable) but the constant but what about teh menz” to this issue pisses me right off. Stop fucking sidelining and derailing. Male circumcision (removing a foreskin) is not in any way comparable to removing a clitoris and sewing up a woman’s vulva (the most serious form of FGM), the outcomes and after effects are completely different.

The constant derailing of the discussion into a mans issue is offensive, derailing and hinders the work to eradicate FGM. It makes you a misogynistic prick if you do it. You don’t care about women’s bodies being mutilated and their sexual function being obliterated you only care about the collective male penis and a slight reduction in sensitivity on removal of the foreskin, where sexual function is unlikely to be affected and in fact you may end up with a reduced risk of HIV.   Just not comparable, so don’t fucking try.


Don’t compare, don’t conflate, don’t derail and stop trying to make it all about you and your sodding penis- male fucking dominance is how fucking abhorrent practices like this exist in the first place.

Fucking patriachy.

Here endeth me going feisty feminist on a wedsnesday afternoon.

Yours angrily


Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

You were supposed to live forever.

Missing you.


Dear Elfie, I’m not sure this is working out….

The first thing Oddler said when she saw you up on the shelf tonight was:
“Has mummy been a good girl?”
You apparently replied no, and now Oddler tells me that Barbara Christmas won’t give me any presents.

I’m fairly sure I invited you to have some fun with the kids, but erm not at my expense.

Ladycurd the proud mother of a 3year old that is a lot smarter than she is.

P.S please tell Barbara I’m now on my best behaviour.

Dear Elfie, about the chocolate

Dear Elfie,
The plan was you taking the fall for the chocolate eating. Was NOT impressed when the first thing Oddler said on seeing you this morning was “oh no Elfie wanted chocolate but Mummy ate them all!”

Come on work with me here.
Love LadyCurd


Dear Elfie,

We are so excited you decided to come visit before Sunday as a super special treat. We were AMAZED when mummy was on the phone to you on the other side of the room and the next thing we knew you had come down the chimney and turned the fire fairy lights on. How did you do that!?

We can’t wait to see what adventures you will get up to over the next month until Christmas Day. We promise to try and be good so you can tell Santa but Mummy says you are a cheeky monkey too like us, so you won’t be too strict!
See you tomorrow
Lots of love
Oddler & Omble


Dear Women who don’t call themselves feminists. Think about it…

Dear Women who don’t call themselves feminists,

I used to be one of you. In fact I only started calling myself a feminist in the last two years. I “came out” as a feminist right here, and here,  here and erm finally here on this very blog. In fact I had to break this blog out from its rather extended hiatus (sorry I’ve been terrifyingly busy but will update more in the new year) just to write this post.

So there has been a bit of an upset about Mumsnet Blogfest and reactions to a panel including two real life friends of mine @Glosswitch & @SarahDitum who have written simply incredible responses here and here.  I’m not going to ramble on about that so much as I wasn’t there (but have watched the videos) and it all seems to have been woefully misconstrued by people with their own issues, and hats off to Glosswitch and Sarah who have handled it beautifully. Me I would have been weeping in the corner at all the unnecessary vitriol directed at me but then I’m always someone who likes things happy and easy and just wants everyone to like me……….

…….which is probably almost definitely why I never called myself a feminist until recently.

Feminism is hard work and once your eyes are opened to it, and I mean truly opened, to the extent of male violence and all the inequalities that women and girls will face just for being female, then erm its hard and its scary. Its terrifying to challenge things, to be that difficult person at playgroup or school trying to explain why X Y or Z actually isn’t okay.

I’ll hold my hands up and say I was blinkered. I didn’t want to hear, I didn’t want to see, I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want it to make me angry or sad.

Back then I didn’t think my gender had affected me from achieving anything. Basically I was being selfish, “women’s issues” hadn’t really affected me, so I didn’t care, but then I started to think, think about my body image, gender roles in marriage, sex, makeup, abortion consent and my daughters growing up loads and loads of other stuff, and I finally truly really got it.

I had my lightbulb moment.

I even used to get upset at women who got angry at women who didn’t want to call themselves feminists. I didn’t call myself a feminist, and how dare anyone judge me for that?

But now I understand, & now  I have come full circle. I have read a lot of responses to this event with women declaring themselves not to be feminists, and showing a woeful misunderstanding of some of the issues at stake, and I want to tear the blinkers from their eyes (in a gentle non-angry way obviously!) and make them see, make them understand, make them listen.  I get why women were angry at me not calling myself a feminist. I am angry at the old me too.

That isn’t to say that it is okay to be verbally abusive at someone because they hold different opinions to you, because it most definitely isn’t. What I am asking is for you to think about it. Think about why feminism exists and what it means and what it needs, think about how your gender will have affected your life, really think deep down why you don’t want to call yourself a feminist. (Glosswitch once pointed out  to me that some women might not call themselves feminists so they don’t appear threatening to men and that  resonated with me. Maybe it will with you too. Why do women always need to be liked, to seek approval, to not shout, to not be aggressive…..?)

All I am asking is for you to just think*

Lots of Thinking Love


*P.S With an added caveat about  “and not responding aggressively to the person just asking you to think.”

*ducks back down below the parapet*.