Tag Archives: sleep

Dear Sleep Thief

Dear Sleep Thief,

You might be the cutest burglar I know, but seriously, come on now:


Don’t make me call the Police.  I might be your mum and love you very much, but that won’t stop me. A crime is a crime, and you are a repeat offender. You already have an ASBO.

If you end up at BabyBorstal you will only have yourself to blame.

Lots Of Love




Dear Cake or Sleep?

Dear Cake or Sleep?

Cake or Sleep is bigger than the 90’s Daddy or Chips dilemma. (Totally Chips won by the way- my dad always nicked our chips- grrrrr!).

Currently I can eat cake, ALOT of cake. In fact I eat at least a Jamaican Ginger Cake a day, plus the odd glass of wine, a fair amount of chocolate and not enough fruit or veg. I’m not putting a jot of weight on, in fact I am losing it because of the breastfeeding.  I am currently  lighter than I was when breastfeeding Oddler (she was mixed fed but predominantly breastfed, Omble is pretty much exclusively breastfed as she keeps bottle refusing but we do offer her the occasional bottle top up as her weight gain is a bit crap).

Generally I am not all that bothered by my weight, it fluctuates and I have a pot belly and big old childbearing hips, but heck I have had two kids neglects to mention the fact the pot belly was pretty much the same size before kids if not bigger  but I must admit am rather enjoying the compliments (and the “you need to eat more cake you are too thin” comments) and the fact I have brought new clothes that actually look good on. I haven’t been this slim since I was about 14!

If I remember correctly Oddler weaned early and fast. By 7months old she was down to 3feeds a day by 13months she had lost interest completely- in those 6months I did put a bit of weight on (I was living on my own with Oddler in Somerset knowing no-one, while LordCurd commuted while we tried to find CurdHall- it was a tough and lonely time and I think I probably also comfort ate as well as continuing the eating pattern I had established while breastfeeding.)

Then I fell pregnant again, it was ectopic, then pregnant again and in the ensuing vomitous months my pregnancy body did its usual trick of losing weight from everywhere except the bump- my legs, arms went slim, my cheekbones verged on emaciated. Omble Baby was eating me alive, just as Oddler before her. I know I am a bit of a freak of nature to be at my thinnest when at my belly is fattest!

So now here we are- Omble is almost 20weeks old- we are miles from weaning her- Oddler was far more advanced (much bigger so was rolling and grabbing and  was nicking food).  Definitely won’t be starting weaning until the 26weeks reccomended and even then I have a strong suspicion she won’t take to it like Oddler has. Let’s say Oddler has inherited my appetite and frame and I think Omble is going to be a different kettle of weaning fish entirely.

I know once Oddler started weaning life got so much easier – suddenly my life had a vague structure to it, breastfeed, breakfast, nap, breastfeed, lunch nap, breastfeed maybe a snoooze, dinner, breastfeed, sleep, nightfeed (just the one if lucky), and Oddler’s sleep got so much better.  So part of me can’t wait, but then also part of me wants to breastfeed her til she is 18 so I can still eat this much cake and still stay slim! Have I mentioned I love cake?

However currently I am getting bugger all sleep , as Omble literally feeds all night, so I am tempted, before we started weaning, to add a bottle to her night feeds to try and tank her up so she sleeps for a longer stretch (at the minute she wakes every 40mins or so!). This does involve effort and I am quite lazy plus the knock on effect will be on my milk supply, if she is feeding from me less then cake will stop being calorie free. I like calorie free cake, but I also like sleep.

So help- what do I decide- cake or sleep?

At the minute Cake is winning to be honest. Mmmmm cake…





Dear 4month Sleep Regression

Dear 4month Sleep Regression,

It is well known that babies go through a period of regressing to sleeping like a newborn at 4months old due to their brain making lots of developmental leaps at this time. (It’s partly why weaning used to be at 4months as people assumed it meant baby was hungry).

Now the word regression implies sleep was ok but it got worse. You only have to read these letters to see how not good Omble’s sleep has been since she was born. In fact her best periods of sleep were probably when she was a newborn until she was about 6weeks old.

So to be honest I would welcome a regression to her sleeping like a newborn. But in last two nights the unthinkable has happened, her sleep has gone from quite shit to utterly shit. Waking every 40mins. I have seen every hour each night. Thank heavens we co-sleep. Physically not another option at the moment.

So yes, unfortunately it turned it it was possible for her sleep to get even worse so it is a regression of sorts but not back to the newborn sleep bliss I hoped for.

Whoever coined the phrase “sleeping like a baby” had not met Omble.


Lots of Love



Dear More

Dear More,

I’m so glad I taught you as a word to Oddler.

Not only does she now do a perfect Oddler Twist, holding her bowl out and plaintively asking for “more” which is simply adorable from my little toddler urchin with a fecking massive appetite, but we also now seem to be locked in a “more” arms race:

Me: Love you
Oddler: Love you
Me: Love you more*
Oddler: Love you more more
Me: Love you more more more
Oddler: Love you more more more more
Me: Love you more more more more more
Oddler (who can’t count but who is determined to win): Love you more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more.
Me: sweeps her up for a giant kiss and cuddle and whispers many more “love you more”‘s under my breath. What can I say, I’m a competitive mother! 😉

But yeah dear More as a word you are a favourite at Curd Hall but can we now please hurry up teach the concept of “more sleep” to Omble?

Many more thanks

P.S *the arms race arose out of reading “Guess how much I love you”- those rabbits suffering from a similar competitive love problem.

Dear Zombie Mother

Dear Zombie Mother,

Um you don’t look so good. You really need to get some sleep- URGENTLY.

Lot’s of Love


Dear Milky Coffee

Dear Milky Coffee,

Currently you are the absolute highlight of my day. Especially when Lord Curd brings me one in bed but less so when I spill you all over said bed and have to spend a day trying to get the stain and smell out of memory foam. Sigh.

I’m not sure what it says about me that you are the highlight of my day life at the moment.
Sleep deprived? Check.
Mouth like a badger’s arse? Check.
Banging dehydration headache from feeding all night? Check.
Not left house in days due to Chicken Pox to do anything else “Highlightworthy”? Check

But yeah I love your instant coffee flavoured goodness (I am a proper coffee philistine and proud- I will drink it and usually enjoy it but I much prefer a mug of instant milky coffee goodness). You aren’t quite the same now I am putting Stevia in you instead of sugar to save my teeth but we are getting used to that.

Crucial thing is you always come with a spoon. It’s a weird thing of mine that- any hot drinks must have a spoon in throughout. I drink you with the spoon in, I tell people I enjoy the added adrenaline rush of possibly poking my eye out, but the reality is I’m just weird like that. Can make it much easier to identify my washing up too which was a bit annoying as a student.

Anyhow that’s enough waxing lyrical about you, I’m off to make one. In the meantime I thought I would share a pic of you in all your glory.

“Coffee Porn”

Caffienatedly Yours

Lady Douwe Eggberts coz you get to keep and reuse the snazzy jars Curd

Dear Torturer

Dear Torturer,

Okay Okay you broke me, I’ll talk, I’ll spill, I’ll speak up and shout out about everything. I’ll sing like a canary, squeal like a pig, grass like um well grass.

What do you need to know? I’ll tell you everything, anything you need, just please please please let me sleep a little first.