Tag Archives: co-sleeping

Dear MotherSucker

Dear MotherSucker,

Just been rereading this in an effort to remind me what you are doing is normal.

Yes currently I am Mummy the Human Dummy. I think you “feed” about every 20minutes through the night but alot of that is non-nutritive sucking. But the lack of sleep is absolutely killing me.

I would give my Right Nipple it’s hanging off by a thread anyway for you to take a dummy or a bottle so I could get just a smidge of sleep and a tiny break from your utterly relentless demands, but sadly you won’t. Thought I had cracked it this week by dipping a dummy in gripe water as you take it then but you have got wise to it and will suck til the gripe water has gone then it’s back to refusing.

Am now at the sleep deprived stage of constant headaches, I can barely speak and I’m practically hallucinating with exhaustion. Sometimes it even hurts to breathe.

So please little MotherSucker of mine – sort yourself out, else am giving you away to the binmen. Or the Health Visitor when she comes today who I am not going to lie too for once

Yours exhaustedly

Dear VelcroBabyOmble

Dear VelcroBaby Omble,

Currently you will only sleep within 5cm of my breast (you don’t have to be feeding you just need you face near it it seems) or in a sling (no good at night).

I am unused to having such a Velcro baby. Your older sister wasn’t that bothered- we might co-sleep if we fell asleep during a night feed but that was about it (and I wonder if her starting life with a week in NICU apart from me did that).

It’s totally lovely that you need me so close but I have to be honest it does worry me how close because of the risk of SIDS. I keep the duvet around my waist well away from you and wear my dressing gown in bed with you in your grobag. I sleep curled around you so there is no danger of me rolling into/onto you and I sleep so lightly I doubt it would happen but I am worried about you rolling over especially as sometimes you will sleep on your side facing me if we have been feeding and we have fallen asleep before I roll you onto your back again. We have a memory foam mattress topper within our mattress which also isn’t ideal.

On the plus side I have read “three in a bed” I know in countries where co-sleeping is the norm then SIDS doesn’t really exist. Having mummy breathing close is thought to help remind the baby to breathe. No-one in this house smokes (one of biggest risk factors) and I would never go to bed even tipsy (at mo if I have one rare small glass of wine it’s at 7ish so all pretty much gone from system by 11ish). H is in spare room at mo for work purposes so it is just me&you in a kingsized bed with a bedside cot attached one side and a baby hammock the other side (but you won’t sleep in either)

But there is a dilemma in our house what to do about this. You are 8 weeks old today- you don’t need to “learn independence” – you are far too little for that, also I don’t believe I am “creating a rod for my own back” by doing this (although H slightly disagrees). This is what you need right now but in a few weeks you may change again- after all you only started doing this a few weeks ago and previously would sleep in your hammock, bouncer, Moses basket or cot in a sleep positioner. The trouble is having you like this means I am getting bugger all quality sleep. You don’t have proper feeds when we sleep like this just lots of little snacks which makes for a bit of a crap night for me (plus prob won’t help your weightgain- another issue) and I am struggling a bit with this. I’m not totally on my knees yet as I am getting used to sleeping with you but also I am terribly terribly worried about SIDS especially as I know of a local baby a few weeks older than you who died of it recently. 😦

I guess I figured by verbalising my fears then it might make them not happen. I know I will spend hours worrying about the stuff that doesn’t happen only to be blindsided by the stuff that actually does.

So little VelcroOmble I guess I will continue to try and meet all your needs as best as I possibly can and try and get you to maybe sleep safely beside me in bedside cot 20cm away from boob instead of 5cm but at minute I will always just choose path of least resistance (too knackered to do anything else) and remember the “this too shall pass” mantra.

Lots of love

SleepDeprived MummyCurd