Category Archives: Friendship

Dear Women Under 35


Dear Women Under 35,

My brother had a girlfriend. A time before he met his beautiful fiancée and asked her to marry him there was another girl. But that’s life isn’t it? We all have a past; there is rarely just one girl.
But this girlfriend wasn’t just a girlfriend. They grew up together. They met at 6th form, they had the same friends, and they went through university together, moved to the big smoke, and started careers together. They went from being teenagers to adults. Like I said, they grew up together.

For us, she became part of the family. They were together over 7 years. That’s a lot of Christmases, holidays and family dinners. She was always there. I had my first baby in that time. She was his auntie. I always thought she would be my sister in law.

But things didn’t work out.

But it was a good thing. They both went on to meet wonderful partners and I truly believe they met who they are destined to marry and spend the rest of their lives with.

Some relationships aren’t meant to last, they’re just meant to take you somewhere. And I believe that to be a little cheesy, but true.

Ironically their looming wedding dates fall a month apart from each other. They don’t marry each other and that’s fine. More than fine; it’s a good thing.

But it’s not quite THAT happy ending you’re picturing.

You see, at just 27 his ex-girlfriend was diagnosed with breast cancer.

We didn’t know about this. Although they still have mutual friends. My brother was in Oz, She was building on her fabulous career in London and we were still up North.

By the time we found out she had been given the all clear and had started her life gain. Picking up from where she left off. Yes she had a mastectomy and a halting bout of chemo, but she was ready to live again.

A week later we received the devastating news that the cancer had spread to her lungs, liver and bones. The prognosis was not good. She had been given months.

She started a blog writtenoff.net , which you should read, from the bottom up, and then maybe understand why I am writing this. Her spirit, dignity and outlook cannot be done justice by my words. Does that sound a bit clichéd? Read it, you’ll see what I mean.
So for us, the ex-boyfriend’s family, we prepared to say goodbye to her once more.
She had left our lives a long time ago, and that had been a blow, but for her to leave the world, well that was something I couldn’t comprehend.
But we weren’t part of her life anymore. It wasn’t our place to grieve. Even though we did anyway; we couldn’t help it. The love you have once felt for someone never completely vanishes. No matter what the circumstances, there’s always a trace left behind.
So I followed her blog, we tweeted each other and I felt I could support her that way. Because I thought about her often, her family, her friends and her fiancé. I suppose empathising with them was easy, we had been in her close circle of family and friends at one point. I could put myself there again and maybe feel a smidgen of the heart ache they felt.

Ellie gets married next month. And what happens after that is out of anyone’s hands. I just hope her and her family have time. As much time as this cruel and wonderful world will allow.

Cancer has put its ugly grip on many lives; it has sat shamelessly amid love for years. For me, Ellie was the first person I have cared about to come so close to cancer. I have read and grieved from afar.

And today, I heard the news that she had returned home to be looked after, whatever that means; the words are too heavy with assumption for me to absorb at the moment. But after hearing this I felt, for the first time, compelled to write about her.

Because, like many of you, that’s what I do. Otherwise I carry it round in my head, wishing there was something I could do.

But I can do this. I can write and I can pass on something that is really important to Ellie. It’s not much but it’s better than just thinking about it.

Once upon a time, Ellie thought she was too young to get breast cancer. Unfortunately, she wasn’t. So if you do one thing today, women under 35, check your boobs, and if you’re not sure how, check out the Coppafeel blog below. Coppafeel was originally set up to raise awareness for women in their twenties, but I for one realise numbers don’t mean all that much.

Coppafeel
Ellie’s Blog (as recommended by Stephen Fry)

Boobs are great! As a woman I feel they unite us, they are amazingly versatile; they can be sources of pleasure and manage to provide food for our babes… But sometimes they can let us down. They can’t do everything. So give them a once over, just to check they are doing ok.

Yours, The Ex-boyfriend’s Sister

P.S This is a guest post from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

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Dear Mama Valentine


Dear Mama Valentine,

Your very wise and lovely daughter told me you brought her up to apply two crucial questions to certain angst ridden situations.

Did you mean to break it?

Did anyone die?

They are very wise words, for if you didn’t mean to break it and have paid a suitable metaphorical price for breaking whatever it was then that is a far better person to be than someone who deliberately sets out to break things. The former being a basically good person (with muddly bits) and the latter probably being a bad person.

Also the reminder that nobody died when a bad thing happened is very grounding, as it’s not the worst thing to have happened, so you instantly start counting your blessings.

So yes dear wise Mama Valentine, I am adopting your two questions to apply to my own life and shall be passing them onto my girls.

So thankyou.

Love
LadyLearningCurd

P.S You should be very proud of your daughter, I’d love her to be my social worker, if we needed one, which I don’t think we do so long as I stop talking about locking the kids in the shed

Dear Dr Who


Dear Dr Who,

If you happen to be passing my house, in my universe, in my time, dya think you could pick me up? I’m getting a little bit bored of the relentless screaming mostly mine the poonami’s, spewmageddons and lack of sleep that mostly makes up my life right now,  and I feel in need of an escape adventure.

Here is my CV- I think you will agree I make an excellent sidekick candidate  although the ‘not being very good at running’ maybe a disadvantage.

  • I’m a scientist specialising in zoology, parasitology and reproductive physiology.  I could gently biologically control alien species.  I’m totally up for helping you Myxo the Daleks.
  • My reproductive knowledge could come in useful if you wanted more timelords- I mean it’s not like you guys are pandas is it? Ahem.
  • I’m not at all embarrassed to be seen with a man in a Fez, wearing a tweed jacket, braces and a bow tie (after all it would help me not miss Lord Curd so much).
  • I like custard (and can work on the fishfingers)

I look forward to hearing from you if my application is sucessful (and if it’s not howabout you dropping by for a cup of tea and some cake and a cheeky snog you’d be very welcome especially if there is snogging involved)

Yours excitedly

LadySideKickingCurd


Dear Cake Fairy


Dear Cake Fairy,

Thank you so much for risking life &limb to breach the biohazard tape around my house and leave this:

20120330-142630.jpg

on my doorstep. It has cheered up Oddler no end, plus sorted my lunch, dinner and breakfast til Monday.

You are an awesome friend,
Lots of love

Lady Quarantined Curd
xxx

P.S We also had a visit from the Pharmacy Fairy so now Oddler’s chicken pox spots are annointed and itching soothed. Hopefully they will stop appearing soon.

Dear Minions


Dear Minions,

Every woman should have a minion or two.

My Minions are the most awesomest Minions a girl could wish for.

In fact everyone is jealous of my beautiful wonderful amazing Minions.

I think other people call them Best Friends.

But yeah.

Minions- I loves you.

Lots of love

LadyOfTheManorOfMinionsCurd

Me & Two of My Minions. (Wedding dress optional in bossing about said Minions)

Dear Ordinary Day


Dear Ordinary Day,

Sometimes I have weeks filled with you. Monotonous, relentless, dull as a a very very dull thing.

But then I remember this card from my very best friend in the whole world.

And I smile and celebrate anyway.

Love LadyCurd